Repentence for asking for an oral sex: I hava committed a great sin and now i am repenting. I want to make tawbah. Please show me the correct ways :-When I was probably 17-18, a female servant of 12-13 yrs used to work at our house. Oneday nobody was at home and i asked her for oral sex. At first, she behaved that she didnot hear anything.Later i again asked her and she gave me. I ejaculated in her mouth. Later she told it to my mom. My mother dismissed her to protect her from me. When she returned to her loocality, she, she disclosed this matter. Then my family probably settled the issue by giving her family some money(I am not sure about that). Nothing harm was done to her family.Now I am repenting very much. It is haunting me. I want to make tawbah. Is it a must for me to seek her forgiveness? I am ashamed and i want to say sorry to her, but if i put up the issue again infront of my family, they will be annoyed and it will be disrepectful for them. i donot want to disrespect them anymore. Moreover,some of my brothers are married and i don't want that their wives also know about that. But i want to make tawbah.Will it be okay if i -1. Repent on it deeply.2. Strictly , try not to be involved in such sin again?Please let me know.

Whatever deeds one might have done in one’s past and in ignorance, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in His Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: ‘Shirk’!   Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and Generous, that He not only will forgive the sins of the repentant believer, He will change their evil deeds done into good deeds!  

The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:

  • One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
  • Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin again.
  • Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment of death.
  • Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy!  Surely, Allah forgives all sins.   He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful.   Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who,  if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin,  remember Allah instantly,  and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings.  For who, but Allah, can forgive sins?   (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did.   These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever!   How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:

The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth.   When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing!  It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place”.  (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes.  (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin,  and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection,  and he shall abide in a state of ignominy;  EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS),  AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS.   For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful.   In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you!  Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy.  Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (Taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death."

Thus my beloved Brother in Islam, as grave as the sins which you might have indulged in your past are in the Sight of Allah Subhanah; never ever should a believer despair of the vastness and unlimited magnitude of the Lord’s Mercy.  If indeed one is sincere in their repentance, is a believer, and strives their utmost to do good deeds thereafter….it is expected that they will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.

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