One more we didnt do any Nikaah ( religious wedding , though i insist a lot about this issue and he doesnt want to have any kids with me ).
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Assalamwalaikoum
Warakmat Ullah Wa Barakatuhu
Brother
Burhan , May Allah Bless you and I`m Glad to receive your mails , everyday
Since
longtime I should mail you about this , long time , very long time ,
Well here the situation :
I came
to this country as student and where I met my husband.
He is
the first man that i`ve known and he is 13years older than me .I have been
married at a young age and since 8yrs , without my parent permission and my
husband is muslim too but not from my country As time goes by , my parents
forgave me as they loved me so much. after 2yrs of my marriage he told his
family he is not anymore with me , when i asked him why , he said due he has to
help his family and if they found out he is still with me , they wont accept
his help as he has to take care of me well actually i dont think so that the
reason which made him lies I went back to my country due for sponsorship which
take me almost 4yrs to get back with him and i keep contact with my husband
regularly
When i
went back , after a year he told me that he is going to get married to a girl from
his country which his mom choose for him
I felt
so depressed and try to suicide
After
im back it seems he didnt get married yet and i found out he already prepared
some stuff for his future marriage , and still keep contact with that girl and
call him infront of me..
he
kept complaining , taunt , abused and use foul language at me , he complained
that i dont take care of anything , thus im a devoted wife , and i work full
time job .
he
doesnt give me anything either spend things for me , nowadays he started asking
me money for rent and so on
One
more we didnt do any Nikaah ( religious wedding , though i insist a lot about
this issue and he doesnt want to have any kids with me )
I dont know what to do brother , please help me and advise me what to do????
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confidentiality.)
Answer:
No marriage zina
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness
that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your
Question: One more we didnt do any Nikaah ( religious wedding , though i insist
a lot about this issue and he doesnt want to have any kids with me )
I dont
know what to do brother , please help me and advise me what to do????
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah
Maidah verse 5 (part):
5 …… (Lawful unto you in
marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but
chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when
ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity not lewdness nor secret
intrigues. If anyone rejects
faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of
those who have lost (all spiritual good).
Respected sister, if you are living with a non-mehram man
as a ‘wife’ without having fulfilled the obligations of an Islamic
‘nikaah’…..it is only obvious that your relationship with this man is one of
manifest ‘zina’, an absolute abomination and one of the gravest sins in the
Sight of Shariah Law and in the Sight of the Lord Most Majestic, Most Supreme!
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:
Do not even go near
‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very
evil way!
Your
Question: …..please help me and advise me what to do????
The first and foremost thing you can and must do, if
indeed you fear Allah and the Last Day, is to immediately distance yourself
from this person and the evil of ‘zina’, and turn unto your Lord in ‘taubah’, seeking
sincere forgiveness for your past….if you are indeed sincere in your
repentance, it is expected that you will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.
Whatever deeds one might have done in one’s past, if one
turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran
that He will forgive all the sins of such a believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of
all: ‘Shirk’! Not only that, our Lord is
so Merciful and Generous, that He not
only will forgive the sins of such a repentant believer, He will change their
evil deeds done into good deeds!
The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or
Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah
Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged
their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely,
Allah forgives all sins. He indeed
is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before
the scourge overtakes you; for then you
may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale
Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong
their own soul by the commission of a sin,
remember Allah instantly, and ask
for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who,
but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly
persist in the wrongs they did. These
will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah,
and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do
good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah
Furqaan verses 63-71:
The (true) servants of the Merciful are those
who walk humbly on the earth. When the
ignorant people behave insolently towards them,
they say, “Peace to you”; (And
those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before
their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save
us from the torment of Hell, for its
torment is killing! It is an evil
abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly,
but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but
Allah Alone, nor kill a soul
unjustly, which Allah has
forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who
does this shall be punished for his sin,
and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of
ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE
REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE
BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For
then, Allah will change his evil deeds
into good deeds, and He is very
Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous
deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly
should!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah
Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you who believe in Our
Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule
of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil
in ignorance, and thereafter repented
and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who
repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah
accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in
death."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2339 Narrated by Abu Sa'id
Allah's Messenger (saws) said that the
Shaytaan said, "By Thy Might, my Lord, I shall continue to lead Thy
servants astray as long as their spirits are in their bodies!" The Lord, Who is Great and Glorious, replied,
"By My Might, Glory and Exalted Station, I shall continue to pardon them
as long as they ask My forgiveness!"
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and
commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any
other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be
assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
