MY wife during a quarrals swore not to see me and if (husband) would try to meet her.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

MY wife during a quarrals swore not to see me and if (husband) would try to meet her he will see her dead body. Also se said that she will take Khula from me during the Quarrals. though it was not meant actully. Does this amount to seperation or divorce. Sould i need to pay Kaffarah before meeting her. Presesently she is living in a seperate room under the same house. Ards

Please give your reply at your elarliest.

Jazakum Allah Khair


(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)




Wife declares divorce

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 237:

237    And if ye divorce them before consummation but after the fixation of a dower for them then the half of the dower (is due to them) unless they remit it.  Or (the man's half) is remitted by him in whose hands is the marriage tie; and the remission (of the man's half) is the nearest to righteousness.  And do not forget liberality between yourselves.  For Allah sees well all that ye do.


In His Perfect and Absolute Wisdom, the Lord Most Supreme has bestowed the marriage ties in the hands and custody of the husband.  It is the husband in Shariah Law who has a right to declare or pronounce a divorce upon his wife; if the wife seeks a divorce in a marriage, she either has to ask her husband to declare a divorce upon her, or she may approach a Shariah Court and request the Judge to free her from the marriage by declaring a divorce. 


Thus brother, if for any reason whatsoever your wife swears by oath that you are not to approach her, and that she wishes to divorce you….or even if she declares the term to the effect of ‘I divorce you’… will only be a statement which she uttered in ignorance from her mouth and will hold absolutely no bearing on the validity of your marriage with her. 


Unless and until you as the husband declare a divorce, or she initiates a divorce proceedings against you in a Shariah Court and the Judge declares a divorce… absolutely assured there is nothing or no one who can establish a divorce in your marriage.


Your Question: Sould i need to pay Kaffarah before meeting her.

From what you have described, you need not pay any ‘kaffarah’ or any atonement for what has transpired….for whatever was said by your wife is but an utterance from her mouth and here statements have absolutely no bearing on the validity of your marriage in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah.


Unless and until a legal divorce is established, either through a declaration of divorce from you or from a Shariah Court, you will be deemed legally married to your wife and you may meet and approach your wife when and how you will and please.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,






Privacy  |  About Wister

Copyright © 2024 Wister All rights reserved