Husband cousins accusing
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace,
Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Aslamalikyum I would
like to know if your husbands cousin`s are always saying bad things to you an
accusing you, what shal you do in this matter as I dont want to hurt my husband
anymore and argue with his family as I know that this will only resort to my
husband divorceing me or hateing me. Islamicly what would a wife do in this
matter? Is it true to take bad from people is a sin a swel? I love my husband
and respect him alot but I have caused him alot of pain due to his cousin`s as
this is what they want. What can I do to stop my self from falling into they
traps? Please help me.
Thankyou
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Answer:
Husband cousins accusing
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His
forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to
fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none
worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is
His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter
49 Surah Hujuraat verse 12: O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as
possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each
other, nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would
any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay ye would
abhor it...but fear Allah: for Allah is Oft-Returning Most Merciful.
Allah and His Messenger (saws) have guided the believers to
absolutely abstain from bad-mouthing or back-biting
others, and those who do will be committing a sin in the sight
of Allah Subhanah and will have a severe accounting on an Inevitable
Day.
We must clarify here that speaking ill of other people behind
their backs, or back-biting, means that one says the
truth about the person, his actions, or
character, or deeds. That is what is termed ‘gheebah’ or
back-biting; and the believers are commanded to abstain from
it. If one invents or speaks a lie about a person, his
actions, or his character, or his
deeds, behind his back, that will be called ‘bohtaan’ or
slander; and that is indeed a grave sin which has a punishment
prescribed for it in the life of this world, and a very severe
accounting in the Hereafter!
Allah Subhanah has enjoined and commanded the believers
in the above aayah to abstain from back-biting and compared it to the
heinous crime of eating the flesh of one’s own brother. Just as one would hate
to eat the flesh of one’s own brother, one should hate the act
of speaking ill of someone behind his back, even though it be the truth!
If one back-bites by inventing lies and falsehood, he will be
guilty of a much more serious sin; ‘bohtaan’ or slander.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse
34: Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has
given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their
means. Therefore the
righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the
husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their property, their
chastity, their honor, etc.)
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith
3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a woman observes the
five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may
enter by any of the Gates of Paradise she wishes."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith
286 Narrated by Umm
Salamah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her,
she will enter
My
dear beloved sister, although you are not too far wrong in knowing that you
have fallen in the trap laid by your husband's cousin to create a rift in your
married life so that they can be rid of you. Allah swt has commanded that the
woman should be obedient to all her husband's legal requests. As a good and
righteous Muslima it is your duty to maintain the peace and harmony in yours
and your husband's home.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272 Narrated
by Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (saws) was asked which woman was best, he
(saws) replied, "The one who
pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a
command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by
doing anything of which he disapproves."
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rum verse 21: And
among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves
that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); Verily, in
that are Signs for those who reflect.
In light of the guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah, any wife who
sincerely wishes to have peace, tranquility, harmony, love and mercy between
herself and her husband must be devoutly obedient to her husband!
My
dear beloved sister, you have to practice utmost patience and bear all the
injustices with perseverance the cousins of your husband shower upon you to
save your marriage. InshaAllah Allah swt will give you ajr (reward) for your
patience. Sooner or later your husband will realize the truth and take up your
cause. But if you defile his brothers he might not understand and your marriage
could be in jeopardy.
Sister
you are required to perform your obligatory prayers in their prescribed times,
read the Noble Quran with understanding daily as much as is easy for you, fast
during Ramadhan, pay the zakat, keep in righteous Muslima company and in
general do good and righteous deeds. This will automatically give you the
strength to bear all the injustices stoically.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 14 Surah Ibraheem verses 11-12:
11 ……..And
on Allah let all men of faith put their trust.
12 "No
reason have we why we should not put our trust on Allah. Indeed He
has guided us to the Way we (follow). We shall certainly bear with patience all the hurt you may cause
us: for those who put their trust should put their trust on Allah."
My dear and beloved Sister in Islam, Islam guides that the
character, dealings, and relations of a believer should always be ‘straight’,
absolutely regardless of how the other party chooses to treat them….if one
finds that the other party deals with them ‘straight’ and with justice, one
should treat them with in a manner which is even ‘straighter’ than theirs….and
if one finds that the other deals with them in a ‘croocked’ manner or with
injustice, Islam guides that the believer should still treat them in a
‘straight’ manner and with justice.
Although it requires a world of courage and patience to repel the
evil of others by doing genuine goodness towards them, without an iota of a
doubt, if that person who did evil to you has even an iota of good in their
hearts, there will come a time when they will feel ashamed and remorse at their
evil, and their enmity and hatred will turn into sincere and lasting
friendship.
Respected sister in Islam, the above is the guidance of Islam for
the believers for their dealings with all mankind…..one can only imagine the
level of goodness and patience the guidance of Islam expects from the believers
when dealing with one’s own relatives and kith and kin!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 6 (part):
Blood-relations amongst each other
have closer personal ties in the Decree of Allah….
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.20 Narrated by Abdullah bin Amr
The Prophet (saws) said, "’Al-Wasil’ (the one who does good
to his relatives) is not he who recompenses the good done to him by his
relatives, but ‘Al-Wasil’ is he
who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of
kinship with him."
Although it is only natural that one expects good from those to
whom one has been good….Islam guides the believers that when dealing with those
whom none other than the Lord Most Majestic Himself has created in the bond of
relationship, one should strive their absolute utmost to develop and maintain
good and cordial relations with them only for the Sake of Allah Subhanah….that
would be piety and righteousness in the Sight of the Lord Most Gracious.
Thus my respected sister, regardless of the behavior or response
of your husband’s cousin to the good you might have done towards them…..you as
a believer who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day are obliged to and should
continue doing sincere good towards them without stint, only for the Sake and
Pleasure of your Lord Most Gracious; seeking the rewards for your good from
none save your Lord Most Merciful, Most Bounteous.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance
and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones. Allah Alone Knows Best and He
is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,
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