How can i encourage my husband to help around the business and house
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
My
husband is very loving but he does not share any business, financial or family
issues with me. He discusses them with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and
every one in the family but no with me. They all sit together and discuss which
i am not a part of this really disturbs me and we have fights. Please help.
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Answer:
Husband does not
share with wife business issues
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and
whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness
that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 34: Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because
Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from
their means. Therefore the
righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the
husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their property, their
chastity, their honor, etc.)
While Islam has laid several responsibilities
and duties upon the believing men as a test in the life of this world
(financial, physical, governance, jihad, etc) for an entry into Paradise; Allah
Subhanah has balanced the test of duties and responsibilities of the believing
women for their entry into Paradise with one supreme responsibility that is
equivalent to all the duties of the man! If the believing woman is
successful in this one test, she has been promised
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith
3254 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a
woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her
chastity and obeys her husband,
she may enter by any of the Gates of Paradise she wishes."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith
3272 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
When Allah's Messenger (saws) was asked which
woman was best, he (saws) replied, "The
one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he
gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or
property by doing anything of which he disapproves."
In light of the guidance of the Quran and the
Sunnah, any wife who sincerely wishes to have peace, tranquility, harmony, love
and mercy between herself and her husband must be devoutly obedient to her
husband!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah
Rum verse 21: And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates
from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your
(hearts); Verily, in that are Signs for those who reflect.
Sister if your husband is loving you should be grateful
and thank Allah swt for all His favors bestowed upon you. It does not behove
one who believes in Allah swt as Her Lord to create fitnah by demanding that
her husband discuss matters of business etc., if he does not want to discuss
with you even though he discusses with others in the house.
It is the duty and responsibility of the
believing women to figure out what exactly pleases her husband and strive to do
those deeds; and ascertain what displeases her husband and absolutely abstain
from doing those deeds! My dear beloved Sister, you are required as a believer to
ensure that your husband is always pleased with you. You should practice
patience and perseverance in co-habiting with your in-laws and sisters in law
and try your best to keep the peace and harmony of your husband's house intact.
You will get no benefit if you pester your husband to
discuss business matters if he does not wish to do so.
If you create disturbance in your married life for little
things then you alone will be responsible for the consequences. Your husband is
not required to discuss what he does not want to discuss with you.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith
286 Narrated by Umm
Salamah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies
while her husband was pleased with
her, she will enter Paradise.’
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones.
Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,
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