Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Alsalam Allikum

 

I am a married woman in my 30s with little kids. My husband is a good man & a perfect father. For years now he has no desire in any intimacy. I think he is used to masturbation. When I complain about it he tells me that it is inappropriate of me to bring up this subject. I thought of divorce, but I dont want to destroy my kids` lives. I did masturbation for some time, but read that it might be haram...!!! I dont know what to do??? 

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Husband not intimate with wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

If after your very best efforts and for no genuine and valid reason, your husband refuses to fulfill your right of intimacy in the marriage, you have two lawful options:

1. Bear his injustice with patience, hoping for your reward and recompense in the Court of Allah Subhanah on the Day of Judgment…and thus save your marriage.
2. But if you cannot bring yourself to bear this injustice done to you by your husband, and especially if you fear that the refusal of your husband to conjugate with you might lead you to transgress the Prescribed Boundaries of your Lord….you are well within your rights to initiate a divorce proceedings against your husband; and if you sought divorce only for this reason, there would be absolutely no sin or blame upon you in the least.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan