Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

assalam o alaikum brother,

I am a daily visitor of your site. May Allah bless you for all the good work you are doing. My friend is having some marital problems due to dispute between her parents and her husband. Because of which my friends husband has asked my friend not to help her sister who is economically very poor. So i want to ask you few queries on her behalf.

By Almighty Allah`s Grace and Mercy, my friend is earning good amount of money and has a sound bank balance. Her poor sister is having financial problems and is also being treated very badly by her husband and inlaws (they are angry since my friend is not helping the poor sister when she can).

My question is

1) Can she help her sister (freinds husband is very angry with her parents and does not want to help their other daugther).

2) How should she be with her parents. She is being torn between husband and parents. Her parents think what ever they have done is fine and she cannot tell them anything as Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24: Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness;......

Burhan bhai please answer my question personally to me and not in your regular question answer, so that my friend can act accordingly

Waiting eagerly for your answer

salamalaikum 

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Should one help sister and mother financially

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol,  no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

May Allah Subhanah reward you with the best of this world and the Hereafter for your kind comments of encouragement for our humble efforts in the propagation of the Truth.    We humbly hope,  beg,  and pray the Merciful Lord  accepts our humble and weak efforts,  forgive us our shortcomings,  and save you, us,  and all the believers from the torment of the Hell Fire.  Ameen.

 

Q-1:  Can she help her sister (freinds husband is very angry with her parents and does not want to help their other daugther).

If your friend is working and earns the money herself, then that money belongs to her and her alone and she has the right in Islam to spend it the way she wants.   She is absolutely within her rights to help her sister from her wealth if she wishes to do so.   The husband has absolutely no legal right in Shariah to stop his wife from helping her sister with her own wealth.

 

But in view of keeping harmony in her own marriage because of her husband’s refusal,  it would be better if the wife helped her sister secretly and did not disclose it to her husband.   In such a case, there would be absolutely no sin upon her.

 

But if the wife wishes to help her sister from the earnings or wealth of her husband, then she must seek his specific permission to do so.

 

Q-2: How should she be with her parents. She is being torn between husband and parents. Her parents think what ever they have done is fine and she cannot tell them anything

The woman has to exercise balance and give rights due to her husband and also give rights that are due to her parents;  just as the man has to balance his rights due to his wife and rights due to his own parents.   Under no circumstances will a believing man or woman be allowed to compromise the rights of one of the parties in preference to the other;  each will be given their due rights.

 

We obviously have no knowledge of  ‘what ever they (her parents) have done’,  thus we obviously cannot give a legal opinion.   It  needs to be determined if the parents have done something which has a Shariah basis for the husband to be so upset with them or not.   But under general circumstances,  it is the obligatory duty of the believing daughter or child to be obedient,  and kind,  and patient,  and tender,  and extremely polite,  towards their parents.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your Brother in Islam,

 

 

Burhan