Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

This is my first time to write to you. Before I start, can I please request to you to keep my mail confidential and reply to me alone . 

 

I am a married muslim woman without children. I married a non muslim, but he had reverted to Islam before marriage. he is a good human being but its been more than a year for our marriage and he does not practice Islam at all. T hats one part of the story, The other part is i have fallen in love with a muslim guy who is 8 years younger to me, this happened 5 months after my marriage. Honestly, I was very much in love with my husband, we shared and still share a good healthy relationship but now its been almost 6,7 months i have known this other person and we both are totally in love with each other. I never planned for this to happen, it just happened, since 4,5 months now, there has been no physical relation between my husband and me. Maybe its Allah's wish because, firstly, even though my husband is a good person, he didn't practise Islam and now i know that he never will. Thanks to this other person I have started wearing Hijab/Abaya now, which i never did. My husband was very upset due to my wearing the Hijab. This other person has brought me closer to Islam and he is my soul mate. He is a very good islamic Man and i am really looking forward to starting my life with him. 

 

My questions are:-

1. After i separate from my husband ( which is inshyallah next month) after how long can me and the other person do Nikah and what are the steps to be taken.

2. will the presence of my family be compulsory for the Nikah?

3. will our age difference be a problem?

4. Will I be punished for what i am doing? ( falling in love with another man, when i am already in Nikah with someone else?

5 . how do i go about breaking the Nikah vows?

 

I will be eagerly waiting for your reply. Please reply only to me. Please forgive me if i have offended to you in any way in my mail. May Allah Bless You.

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Married woman loves another

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Q-1: After i separate from my husband ( which is inshyallah next month) after how long can me and the other person do Nikah and what are the steps to be taken.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 228:

228    Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods; nor is it lawful for them to hide what Allah hath created in their wombs if they have faith in Allah and the Last Day.

 

For a divorce to be established in Shariah, it is absolutely obligatory for the woman, who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day, to fulfill her waiting period of ‘iddah’ of three menstruation periods after the divorce has been pronounced.  It is only after the period of ‘iddah’ has expired that the woman would be deemed free in Shariah Law to marry any eligible believer of her choice. 

 

Q-2. Will the presence of my family be compulsory for the Nikah?

In a moral and righteous society that Islam strives to build, it is inconceivable that a believing woman, who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day, would seek to marry someone herself without the prior consultation and consent of her parents/guardians (wali). 

 

The absolute majority of the scholars in Islam are of the opinion that under normal circumstances the consent of the bride to her marriage is an obligatory condition of an Islamic marriage; but under some specific circumstances (like when the girl has reverted to Islam but her parents or guardians are disbelievers, or the parents of the bride are deceased, etc.), the bride may appoint one amongst her relatives or one amongst the believers as her ‘wali’, or the ‘Judge’ of the Shariah Court may act as her ‘wali’, and give her hand in marriage to the suitor.

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2078  Narrated byAisha, Ummul Mu'minin

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘The marriage of a woman who marries without the consent of her guardians (wali) is void.’ (He (saws) said these words three times.)

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3137        Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A woman may not give another woman in marriage, nor may she give herself in marriage; for (it is only) the immoral woman who gives herself in marriage."

 

Under normal circumstances, especially when the parents of the girl are alive and are believers, it would not behove and befit a believing woman who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day, to marry someone without the prior consent of her parents/guardians. 

 

What is obligatory and a requirement of the ‘nikaah’ in Islam is the consent of the guardian (wali) of the bride, not their physical presence.

 

Q-3: Will our age difference be a problem?

The age or age difference between two eligible partners in a marriage is not an issue in Islamic Law.  Regardless of whether the man is older than the woman or the woman is older than the man she seeks to marry, provided all the obligations of the marriage are met, such a marriage would be deemed legal and lawful in Islamic Law.

 

Q-4: Will I be punished for what i am doing? ( falling in love with another man, when i am already in Nikah with someone else?

For a woman bonded in the sacred institution of marriage to ‘fall in love’ with another man is without an iota of a doubt a grave sin in Islam!

 

Q-5: How do i go about breaking the Nikah vows?

If she has an absolutely valid reason, a believing woman is well within her rights to seek a divorce in her marriage.  This divorce can be initiated in one of two ways:

1. The wife informs the husband that she no longer wishes to remain in matrimony with him and requests him to declare or pronounce a ‘divorce’ unto her.  After the husband declares the divorce, the wife must honor her ‘iddah’ of divorce which is waiting for three menstrual periods.  At the expiry of her waiting period of ‘iddah’, a legal divorce is established between the husband and the wife and the wife is free to marry any eligible person she wills.
2. If the husband refuses to accede to the request of divorce from his wife, the wife would have to approach a Shariah Court and initiate divorce proceedings against her husband. 

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan