Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamu Alaykum,

 

I am a male who did katb ktab on a girl who is in a different country, we have been engaged for a year, but only seen each other twice. we did an engagement party only, but so far, even tho we did katb ktaab (nikah) i have not yet touched the girl or anything. now the girl wants to call our relationship off. (ask for divorce - or khul`aa). Her reason is that she does not feel confortable with our relationship and she does not want to continue, there was no mistake on my end what-so-ever. my question is: my family is requesting from her family to return all the things we gave her, the mahr (gold) and gifts, plus cash compensation for the engagement party and other expenses such as driving school that i paid for, immigration papers costs and allowance i used to send her. Is it allowed shar3an to ask for all these to be returned to me? Thank you. 

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Divorce before rukhsati

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

If a ‘nikaah’ contract has taken place but the couple have not solemnized their marriage, and if during this period the girl wishes to break the ‘nikaah’ contract through a ‘khula’, the husband is well within his rights to demand that the ‘mehr’ paid and expenses occurred by him be compensated to him by the girl (or her family).

 

But if the husband, of his own free will, wishes to forgive all or a part of the ‘mehr’ and the expenses occurred, he is also well within his rights to do so; and it would account as piety and righteousness on his part in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan