Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I desperatley need help and guidance for i am losing my sanity and the will to live. please help me. i have commited zina and my husband and his entire family have found out, i have bought shame to him and family, and also i have let my kids down. i am truely sorry and make sincere taubah day and night, i am constantly asking allah for forgivness and guidance. i also ask for forgivness for the hurt and pain ive caused to my husband and family. two years ago my husband had doubts about me and he was right to have doubts, but i managed to cover up my secret, but also at the same time in anger my husband gave me 3 clear talaaks(divorce), but the next day he said ignore the talaaks. i was not happy with this as we both knew that our marriage could be over. for 2 years i pesterd him to find out if those three talaaks are valid. can you please tell me if they are valid. and now that my husband and his family know about my adultry, i have no respect keft from them. i was caught and was made a public mockery and publicly humiliated. like i said i do sincere taubah and ask for forgivness day and night. me and my husband have been seperated 4 months now and im finding it very hard to live like this. i am constantly down and crying because i have alot of guilt and humiliation to live with for the rest of my life. i have lost everything and everyone. no-one wants to know me or talk to me as i said, i was made a mockery of which i felt was very wrong. i dont think my husband will forgive me or come home and i am very scared that without his forgiveness i will not enter jannat, he has become very strict with me which i am also finding very hard to live by his rules. if he has no intentions of forgiving me or ever trusting me, shouldnt he just divorce me and let me try and get on with life. im tired of crying and being down as it is affecting my 4 young children. they know what mummy has done and they also know how sorry i am and they see how the family are now treating me, please advise me and please clear up my talaak issues. thankyou 

 

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Answer:

 

Declaration of three divorces at one time

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Statements: ….i have commited zina and my husband and his entire family have found out, i have bought shame to him and family, and also i have let my kids down. i am truely sorry and make sincere taubah day and night, i am constantly asking allah for forgivness and guidance.

Respected sister in Islam, whatever deeds one might have done in one’s past, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere ‘Taubah’ and seeks forgiveness,  Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a repentant believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: ‘Shirk’!  Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and Generous, that He not only will forgive the sins of such sincerely repentant believers, He will change their evil deeds done into good deeds!  

 

The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:

·                     One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at the commission of their sin.

·                     Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that one will not repeat their sin again.

·                     Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before one has met with their appointment of death.

·                     Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter. 

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy!  Surely,  Allah forgives all sins.   He indeed is the All Forgiving,  All Merciful.   Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you;  for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who,  if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin,  remember Allah instantly,  and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings.  For who,  but Allah,  can forgive sins?   (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did.   These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah,  and with Gardens beneath which canals flow,  and they will reside therein forever!   How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:

The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth.   When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them,  they say, “Peace to you”;  (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord,  save us from the torment of Hell,  for its torment is killing!  It is an evil abode,  and an evil resting place”.  (And those) who,  when they spend are neither extravagant,  nor miserly,  but keep the golden mean between the two extremes.  (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone,  nor kill a soul unjustly,  which Allah has forbidden,  nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin,  and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection,  and he shall abide in a state of ignominy;  EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS),  AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS.   For then,  Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds,  and He is very Forgiving and Merciful.   In fact,  one who repents and does righteous deeds,  returns to Allah as one rightly should!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs,  say: "Peace be on you!  Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy.  Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance,  and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct),  Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving,  Most Merciful."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2339        Narrated by Abu Sa'id

Allah's Messenger (saws) said that the Shaytaan said, "By Thy Might, my Lord, I shall continue to lead Thy servants astray as long as their spirits are in their bodies!"  The Lord, Who is Great and Glorious, replied, "By My Might, Glory and Exalted Station, I shall continue to pardon them as long as they ask My forgiveness!"

 

Your Question: …..but also at the same time in anger my husband gave me 3 clear talaaks (divorce), but the next day he said ignore the talaaks. i was not happy with this as we both knew that our marriage could be over. for 2 years i pesterd him to find out if those three talaaks are valid. can you please tell me if they are valid.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 229-230:

229    A (revocable) divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness.  It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives) except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah.  If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them.  If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).

230    So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably for the third time) he cannot after that remarry her until after she has married another husband and he has divorced her.  In that case there is no blame on either of them if they reunite provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah.  Such are the limits ordained by Allah which He makes plain to those who understand.

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2189  Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘There are three things which, whether undertaken seriously or in jest, are treated as serious: Marriage, divorce and taking back a wife (after a divorce which is not final).’

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3292        Narrated by Mahmud ibn Labid

When Allah's Messenger (saws) was informed about a man who had divorced his wife, declaring it three times without any interval between them, he (saws) arose in anger and said, "Is a mockery being made of the Book of Allah Who is Great and Glorious, while I am amongst you?"  As a result a companion got up and asked, "O Messenger of Allah (saws) shall I kill him?"

 

The absolute majority of the scholars are of the opinion that if one pronounces three divorces to one’s wife at one time, they will count as three and an absolutely irrevocable divorce will be established in the marriage.  That was the ruling of even the noble companions of the Messenger of Allah (saws) of the stature of Hadrat Abdullah ibn Abbas (r.a.) and of Hadrat Abu Hurayrah (r.a.), etc.

 

Al-Muwatta Hadith 29.37

Yahya related from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Muhammad ibn Abd ar-Rahman ibn Thawban that Muhammad ibn Iyas ibn al-Bukayr said, "A man divorced his wife three times before he had consummated the marriage, and then it seemed good to him to marry her. Therefore, he wanted an opinion, and I went with him to ask Abdullah ibn Abbas and Abu Hurayra on his behalf about it, and they said, 'We do not think that he should marry her until she has married another husband.'

 

Al-Muwatta Hadith 29.1

Yahya related from Malik that he had heard that a man said to Abdullah ibn Abbas (r.a.), "I have divorced my wife by saying I divorce you a hundred times. What do you think my situation is?" Ibn Abbas (r.a.) said to him, "She was divorced from you by three pronouncements, and by the (other) ninety-seven, you have mocked the Aayat of Allah."

 

Absolutely regardless of whether the husband declared the divorces in seriousness or in jest, absolutely regardless of whether he was angry or happy, absolutely regardless of whether or not there were any witnesses present…… if the husband has declared three divorce pronouncements upon his wife, an absolutely irrevocable divorce would be deemed established in their marriage in the Sight of Allah Subhanah……and the couple can never ever lawfully remarry again, unless and until the wife marries another person, and her new husband happens to divorce her, or he dies.

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan