Divorce a good husband.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Al Salam Alleikum wa rahmat Allah,
I`ve been married for the past 3 years to a very good man. He is a good,
decent, religious, kind, hard-working and generous husband who is extremely
loving and decent to me and my family. In short, he is perfect.
At the time when I decided to marry him, I knew that I was not completely in
love with him but agreed to the marriage as I know that getting married is
better for a young muslim woman (I was 23 years old at the time). I also chose
to proceed with this marriage on the basis that I received undue attention from
male friends and colleagues at work and wanted all this to stop so that I do
not commit any sins.
Shortly after our marriage, I felt that I made a mistake. While I respect and
love him "in a friendly way" I do not really love him in the way that
a wife should love her husband.
I am a successful working woman and believe in Allah subhanou wa ta3ala and
have already performed farida al Hajj, however, I am now 28 years old and feel
that I cant continue in a one sided relationship anymore. I think that I will
be a happier person if I got a divorce, however, I cannot imagine the pain that
I would cause my husband, my family and his family in the process (especially
since he is a perfect husband who has not hurt me in any way). I already feel
guilty just considering it.
Can you please give me some guidance from an Islamic perspective?
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Divorce a good
husband
In the name of Allah,
We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah
guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide
them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah
Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the
seal of His Messengers.
The sacred bond of marriage in
Islam is a contract which both the parties have a right to dissolve whenever
they wish to do so….thus you are well within your rights in Islam to seek a
divorce in your marriage, if indeed you wish to do so.
Rather than guide you one way or
the other, what we can do for you here is present some quotations from the
Quran and the Sunnah, and it is entirely up to you to decide whether you wish
to exercise your right to seek divorce or not ….
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 30 Surah
21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among
yourselves that ye may dwell in
tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts);
verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.
Sahih Al-Bukhari
Hadith 1.28 Narrated by Ibn Abbas
The Prophet (saws)
said: "I was shown the Hell-Fire and that the majority of its dwellers
were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in
Allah?" (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) He (saws) replied, "They are not thankful to their
husbands and are ungrateful for the favors done to them. Even if you do good to
one of them all your life, when she seems some harshness from you, she will
say, "I have never seen any good from you!"
Sunan of Abu-Dawood
Hadith 2218 Narrated by Thawban
The Prophet (saws)
said: ‘If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason,
(even) the odour of
Sunan of Abu-Dawood
Hadith 2173 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
The Prophet (saws)
said: ‘Of all the “lawful acts” the most detestable to Allah is divorce.’
Sunan of Abu-Dawood
Hadith 2172 Narrated by Muharib
The Prophet (saws)
said: ‘Allah did not make anything “lawful” more abominable to Him than
divorce.’
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 19 (part):
It may be that ye dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it
a great deal of good.
216 ……But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you
and that ye love a thing which is bad for you.
But Allah Knows and ye know not.
If one trusts, obeys, and
follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being
misled; but if one believes, obeys and
follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of
Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever
of error is of me alone. Allah Alone
Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan