Mother ill serving her.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamualaikum,

My mother has been suffering from many medical conditions since 5 years, all these 5 years I have been supporting her medical which costs a lot and have spent many sleepless nights for her concern. Many a times my relatives were taking care of her for about one and half year and she used to cry and tell me that you have abandoned me like an orphan, but I prayed to Allah and I stayed back in USA for the sake of money to support her medical. six months she was in USA and now my wife is taking care of her in India. Presently she is in critical condition in the hospital, Allah forbids, if anything happens to her, my aakhirah is gone as prophet Muhammed (SAW) has said, those who find their parents in old age and could not get jannah through them, woe on them, he said three times. I think I am one of the person on whom Prophet (SAW) sent the curse. What do I do now brother? Please pray for my Mother`s health and please suggest me what to do? Logically what I did was right as money is needed, where do I go and ask for money for her treatment, but according to Islam, I would have left everything and go for the khidmat of my Mother. what do I do? Your early reply is requested.


Jazak Allah,

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Mother ill serving her

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Respected brother in Islam, one cannot over-emphasize the importance and significance of serving and being dutiful to one’s parents in Islam…… Second only to the heinous and the ultimate abomination of ‘shirk’ in the Sight of Allah is for an off-spring to abandon or be undutiful to one’s parents!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone!  Treat your parents with great kindness;  if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them;  nor rebuke them;  but speak to them kind words.  Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord,  be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:

14      And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 36:

36      Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him: and do good to parents kinsfolk orphans those in need neighbors who are near neighbors who are strangers the companion by your side the way-farer (ye meet) and what your right hands possess: for Allah loveth not the arrogant the vainglorious;

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941        Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?"  He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5120  Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah

I asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah(saws)! To whom should I show kindness most?’  He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother.’  I asked (again): ‘Who next?’. He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’.  I asked: ‘Who next?’  He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’  I asked again: ‘Who next?’ and he (saws) replied: ‘Your father, and then your relatives in order of relationship.’

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4939        Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Jahimah

Jahimah came to the Prophet (saws) and said, "Messenger of Allah (saws), I desire to go on a military expedition and I have come to consult you.  He (saws) asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied that he had, he (saws) said, "Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.18 Narrated by Aisha

The Prophet (saws) said:  "The word 'Ar-Rahm' (womb) derives its name from 'Ar-Rahman' (i.e. Allah).  So whosoever keeps good relations with it (womb i.e. kith and kin), Allah will keep good relations with him, and whosoever will sever it (i.e. severs his bonds of kith and kin) Allah too will sever His relations with him!"

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821         Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the ‘Kabair’ (the absolute gravest sins in the Sight of Allah). He (saws) replied: "They are:--

To join others in worship with Allah,

To be undutiful to one's parents,

To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murder),

And to give a false witness."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3655        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There are three people to whom Allah has forbidden Paradise: one who is addicted to wine, an undutiful son, and a cuckold who agrees to his womenfolk's adultery."

 

Sahih Muslim Hadith 6189     Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Let him be humbled into dust! Let him be humbled into dust! Let him be humbled into dust!’ It was asked: ‘O Allah's Messenger (saws), who is he?’ He (saws) replied: ‘He who sees either or both of his parents during their old age, but he does not enter Paradise (through serving them).’

 

Such is the rank and status the Lord Most High has accorded to parents in Islam that only after the rights due to Allah Subhanah and His Messenger (saws), the biggest rights in all mankind are due to one’s parents, regardless of whether one’s parents are believers or disbelievers!  Thus it is absolutely obligatory upon the believers who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day to be devoutly obedient to each and every lawful wish and command of their parents.

 

Your Question:…..Logically what I did was right as money is needed, where do I go and ask for money for her treatment, but according to Islam, I would have left everything and go for the khidmat of my Mother. what do I do? Your early reply is requested.

Respected brother in Islam, if the one and only reason you left your ailing mother and went overseas was so that you could earn enough to bear the expenses of her treatment….and you left your relatives or your wife or you arranged for someone to take care of her in your absence….rest absolutely assured that you would not be amongst those who abandon or are undutiful towards their parents in the Sight of your Lord!  If indeed your reluctant separation from your ailing mother was only so that you could earn enough to bear the expenses of her treatment, and you did everything possible to make sure that someone would take care of her in your absence…..your sacrifice will be recorded as piety and righteousness in your Book of Records with your Lord, Insha Allah.

 

It is only those who are undutiful or abandon their parents at their hour of need who are promised a severe accounting in the Presence of their Lord Most High!

 

Your Question: ….what do I do?

Respected brother in Islam, if you have accumulated enough funds to bear the treatment of your ailing mother, or you are confident that you could earn your livelihood living with your mother….and your mother has expressed her desire to live with you….then it would only be piety and righteousness that at the first given opportunity you fulfill the desire of your mother, and either move back to live with and serve your ailing mother, or move her to where you work and live. 

 

Whatever sacrifices you make in the service of your mother, rest assured brother that your Lord Most Gracious will reward you abundantly for your services and your sacrifices in the Hereafter.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 

 

 

 
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