Mother ill serving her.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Assalamualaikum,
My mother has been suffering from many medical conditions since 5 years, all
these 5 years I have been supporting her medical which costs a lot and have
spent many sleepless nights for her concern. Many a times my relatives were
taking care of her for about one and half year and she used to cry and tell me
that you have abandoned me like an orphan, but I prayed to Allah and I stayed
back in USA for the sake of money to support her medical. six months she was in
Jazak Allah,
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confidentiality.)
Answer:
Mother ill serving
her
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Respected brother in Islam, one cannot over-emphasize the
importance and significance of serving and being dutiful to one’s parents in
Islam…… Second only to the heinous and the ultimate abomination of ‘shirk’ in
the Sight of Allah is for an off-spring to abandon or be undutiful to one’s parents!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah
Bani Israel verses 23-24:
Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should
not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat
your parents with great kindness;
if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to
them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and
pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them,
just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah
Luqman verse 14:
14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain
was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy
parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 36:
36 Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him: and do good to
parents kinsfolk orphans those in need neighbors who are near neighbors
who are strangers the companion by your side the way-farer (ye meet) and what
your right hands possess: for Allah loveth not the arrogant the vainglorious;
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated by Abu Umamah
A man said, "O Messenger of Allah
(saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or
your relation with them will determine) your
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5120 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah
I asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah(saws)! To whom
should I show kindness most?’ He (saws)
replied: ‘Your mother.’ I asked (again):
‘Who next?’. He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’.
I asked: ‘Who next?’ He (saws)
replied: ‘Your mother!’ I asked again:
‘Who next?’ and he (saws) replied: ‘Your father, and then your relatives in
order of relationship.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4939 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Jahimah
Jahimah came to the Prophet (saws) and said,
"Messenger of Allah (saws), I desire to go on a military expedition and I
have come to consult you. He (saws)
asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied that he had, he (saws) said,
"Stay with her, for
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.18 Narrated by Aisha
The Prophet (saws) said: "The word 'Ar-Rahm' (womb) derives its
name from 'Ar-Rahman' (i.e. Allah). So
whosoever keeps good relations with it (womb i.e. kith and kin), Allah will
keep good relations with him, and whosoever will sever it (i.e. severs his
bonds of kith and kin) Allah too will sever His relations with him!"
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas
The Prophet (saws) was asked about the
‘Kabair’ (the absolute gravest sins in the Sight of Allah). He (saws) replied:
"They are:--
To join others in worship with Allah,
To be undutiful to one's parents,
To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to
kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murder),
And to give a false witness."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3655 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There
are three people to whom Allah has forbidden
Sahih Muslim Hadith 6189 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Let him be
humbled into dust! Let him be humbled into dust! Let him be humbled into dust!’
It was asked: ‘O Allah's Messenger (saws), who is he?’ He (saws) replied: ‘He
who sees either or both of his parents during their old age, but he does not
enter
Such is the rank and status the Lord Most High has
accorded to parents in Islam that only after the rights due to Allah Subhanah
and His Messenger (saws), the biggest rights in all mankind are due to one’s
parents, regardless of whether one’s parents are believers or
disbelievers! Thus it is absolutely
obligatory upon the believers who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day to be
devoutly obedient to each and every lawful wish and command of their parents.
Your
Question:…..Logically what I did was right as money is needed, where do I go
and ask for money for her treatment, but according to Islam, I would have left
everything and go for the khidmat of my Mother. what do I do? Your early reply
is requested.
Respected brother in Islam, if the one and only reason you
left your ailing mother and went overseas was so that you could earn enough to
bear the expenses of her treatment….and you left your relatives or your wife or
you arranged for someone to take care of her in your absence….rest absolutely
assured that you would not be amongst those who abandon or are undutiful
towards their parents in the Sight of your Lord! If indeed your reluctant separation from your
ailing mother was only so that you could earn enough to bear the expenses of
her treatment, and you did everything possible to make sure that someone would
take care of her in your absence…..your sacrifice will be recorded as piety and
righteousness in your Book of Records with your Lord, Insha Allah.
It is only those who are undutiful or abandon their
parents at their hour of need who are promised a severe accounting in the
Presence of their Lord Most High!
Your
Question: ….what do I do?
Respected brother in Islam, if you have accumulated enough
funds to bear the treatment of your ailing mother, or you are confident that
you could earn your livelihood living with your mother….and your mother has
expressed her desire to live with you….then it would only be piety and
righteousness that at the first given opportunity you fulfill the desire of
your mother, and either move back to live with and serve your ailing mother, or
move her to where you work and live.
Whatever sacrifices you make in the service of your
mother, rest assured brother that your Lord Most Gracious will reward you
abundantly for your services and your sacrifices in the Hereafter.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan