Rights of disbelieving parents.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Dear
Brother,
Thanks
so much for always copping me the Knowledge of islam i realy enjoy reading it.
Firstly,
am a Convertie to islam from christianity, my parents trubled me untile the
time i got some one to marry they refused to surpport my marriage but out chife
kathi surpoted me as brother, in which i succeded since then we are not in good
turms with my parents in that up to now they do accept my husband now its 8
year. last year in may i was blessed by Allah with a baby girl my mother did
not come to see her. Now is need to go and visit home since am staying in the
UAE. My husband for bide me from taking my baby to my parent since he is not
accepted. what can i do i am confuse kindly advice with hadith or Quran.
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Answer:
Rights of
disbelieving parents
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Respected sister in Islam, one cannot over-emphasize the
importance and significance of serving and being dutiful unto one’s parents in
Islam, absolutely regardless of whether one’s parents are believers or
disbelievers!
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:
Your
Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him
Alone! Treat your parents with
great kindness; if either or both of
them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and
pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them,
just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah
Luqman verse 14:
14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain
was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy
parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 46 Surah
Ahqaaf verses 15-16:
15 We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: in pain did his
mother bear him and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child)
to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months.
At length when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty
years he says "O my Lord! grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favor
which Thou hast bestowed upon me and upon both my parents and that I may work
righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my
issue. Truly have I turned to Thee and
truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam."
16 Such are they from whom We shall accept the best of their deeds and
pass by their ill deeds: (they shall be) among the Companions of the Garden: a
promise of truth which was made to them (in this life).
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah
Baqarah verse 215:
215 They ask thee what they should spend (in charity). Say: ‘Whatever ye spend that is good is
for parents and kindred and orphans and those in want and for
wayfarers. And whatever ye do that is
good Allah knoweth it well.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated by Abu Umamah
A man said, "O Messenger of Allah
(saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or
your relation with them will determine) your
Sahih Muslim Hadith 6189 Narrated
by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Let him be
humbled into dust! Let him be humbled
into dust!’ It was said: ‘O Allah's Messenger (saws), who is he?’ He (saws) said: ‘He who sees either of
his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5120 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah
I asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah(saws)! To whom
should I show kindness most?’ He (saws)
replied: ‘Your mother.’ I asked (again):
‘Who next?’. He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’.
I asked: ‘Who next?’ He (saws)
replied: ‘Your mother!’ I asked again:
‘Who next?’ and he (saws) replied: ‘Your father, and then your relatives in
order of relationship.’
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.290 Narrated by Abu Bakra
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Shall I
inform you of the biggest of the Great Sins?" They said, "Yes, O
Allah's Messenger (saws)!" He (saws) said, "To join partners in
worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents."
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.505 Narrated by Abdullah
I asked the Prophet (saws): "Which deed
is the dearest to Allah?" He (saws) replied, "To offer the prayers at
their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in
goodness)?" He (saws) replied, "To be good and dutiful to your
parents." I again asked, "What is the next (in
goodness)?" He (saws) replied, "To participate in Jihad (religious
fighting) in Allah's cause."
'Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more,
the Prophet (saws) would have told me more."
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.248 Narrated byAbdullah bin Amr
A man came to the Prophet asking his permission to take part in Jihad.
The Prophet asked him, "Are your parents alive?" He replied in the
affirmative. The Prophet said to him, "Then
exert yourself in their service."
It is absolutely impermissible, forbidden, and an
abomination of a sin in the Sight of Allah for one to break or sever ties or
relationships of blood which the Lord Himself has created for them; absolutely
regardless of whether their relatives are believers or disbelievers!
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 13 Surah Ar-Raad verse 25:
As for those who break
their covenant with Allah after confirming it, who cut asunder
relationships which Allah has bidden to be joined, and spread chaos on
the earth, their’s shall be the curse,
and they shall have a wretched abode in the Hereafter.
Allah Says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 2 Surah Bakarah verse 27:
And He leads astray
only those who disobey Allah, who break
Allah’s covenant after ratifying it, who cut asunder relationships what
Allah has ordered to be joined, and who produce chaos on the Earth. These are indeed the people who are the
losers.
Sahih Al-Bukhari
Hadith 8.17 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws)
said, "The word 'Ar-Rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one
of the names of Allah) and Allah said: 'I will keep good relation with the one
who will keep good relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin), and sever
the relation with him who will sever the relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith
and kin).
Your
Question: ….My husband for bide me from taking my baby to my parent since he is
not accepted. what can i do
The husband, or anyone else in creation for that matter,
has absolutely no right to command another to break relations with their kith
and kin, regardless of whether their kin happen to be believers or disbelievers.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3696 Narrated by An-Nawwas ibn Sam'an
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A
creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the
Creator."
Even if one’s husband were to command his wife to break
relations wth or disown her parents or relatives, or forbid the wife from
taking their baby to its maternal grand-parents, absolutely regardless of
whether the relatives are believers or disbelievers……such unlawful commands of
the husband would not be obeyed, for it involves disobedience to the Guidance
and Commands of the Lord All-Mighty and His Messenger (saws)!
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and
commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any
other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be
assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan