Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear brother burhan, assalamuwalaikum. please tell what are the duties of a widow towards her deceased husband. and vice versa what are the duties toward a widow. if there are any particular hadith regarding this matter.

 

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Answer:

 

Duties of a widow widower

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Ref: duties of a widow:

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 234:

234    If any of you die and leave widows behind they shall wait concerning themselves four months and ten days: when they have fulfilled their term there is no blame on you if they dispose of themselves in a just and reasonable manner.  And Allah is well acquainted with what ye do.

 

Fiqh-us-Sunnah Fiqh 4.23

Umm 'Atiyyah reported that the Messenger of Allah said: "A woman should not mourn for any deceased person for more than three days, except in the case of her husband's death, which she may mourn for a period of four months and ten days. Such a woman (in mourning) is not to wear any (brightly) colored dress. She may wear only plain dress. During this period she should not use any adornment or eye makeup, nor wear any perfume, nor dye her hands and feet with henna, nor adorn her hair, except at the end of her menstruation period, when she may use some cleaning or refreshing agents (such as perfume, etc.) to get rid of any offensive smell left over from her period."  (Related by Bukhari and Muslim).  Accordingly, when a widow mourns, she must not use any adornment, such as jewelry, kohl, silk, perfume, or henna dye on her hands and feet. A widow must observe this waiting period in deference to her late husband's memory and to fulfill her obligations toward him.

 

In addition to observing the prescribed mourning period of four months and ten days, the widow should make supplications unto her Lord to have mercy on her deceased husband, forgive him his shortcomings and his sins, and grant him an honorable station in Paradise.

 

Ref: duties of a widower:

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.310         Narrated by Um Atiya

We were forbidden to mourn for a dead person for more than three days,  except in the case of a (deceased) husband for whom mourning (by his widow) was allowed for four months and ten days.

 

The widower is to mourn the death of his wife for not more than three days; he should strive to make sincere supplications unto his Lord to have mercy on the soul of his deceased wife, forgive her her shortcomings and her sins, and grant her an honorable station in Paradise.

 

Further it was the Sunnah and the practice of the Messenger of Allah (saws) to be extremely courteous and generous with the relatives and loved ones of his beloved and deceased wife, Hadrat Khadijah (r.a.), in honor of her memory.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 5.166         Narrated by Aisha

I did not feel jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet (saws) as much as I did of (his deceased wife) Khadija though I did not see her, but the Prophet used to mention her very often, and when ever he slaughtered a sheep, he would cut its parts and send a good portion of it to the women friends of Khadija. When I sometimes said to him, "(You treat Khadija in such a way) as if there is no woman on earth except Khadija," he (saws) would say, "Khadija was such-and-such (praised her), and from her I had children."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 5.168         Narrated by Abu Huraira

Narrated Aisha: Once Hala bint Khuwailid, (the Prophet’s deceased wife) Khadijah's sister, asked the permission of the Prophet (saws) to enter. On that, the Prophet (saws) remembered the way Khadijah used to ask his permission, and that (memory of his beloved wife) saddened him. He (saws) said, "O Allah! Hala!" So I became jealous and said, "What makes you remember an old woman from amongst the old women of Quraish, an old woman (with a teethless mouth) of red gums who died long ago, and in whose place Allah has given you somebody better than her?"  The Messenger of Allah (saws) replied: "Khadijah believed in me when everyone else belied me.”

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan