Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I am a woman aging about 50 years, married for 30 years with two grown up childred, I remember that I have never missed a prayer and Ramadan fastings for the last 29 years. I was not very regular before my marrieage and one year after marriage I think I have missed some prayers and fastings ramadan sort off 50/50.

- I thought that I should fast continuousy to complete my missed ones and have started after Ramadan, fasted for the whole month of Shawal ZulQaadah until today on a daily basis, my husband is nowt happy with me and we have a lot of arguments on this subject. My husband says that I should not do it on a continuous basis and says that "if you want to fast, do it only two days in week i.e (Mondays&thursdays only" . I got very imotional yesterday on this issue and told him that I will continue doing it even if I have break our relationship.

 

Please advise whether I am right or wrong. How can I be fogiven by Allah If I could not comple my missed fastings if I dont complet all earlier missed fastings.

 

Secondly, I am consuming about 3-3 and half hour for my earlier missed Salah on a daily basis, as per my calculations I have completed until today for 5 years and want to continue this practice utill I can cover another 5 years. This is issue is also a subject of argumentation. Pls advise as to how I should deal with bot subjects.

I will be very thankful to you for an early reply quoting some valid Ahadith on thse issues.

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Voluntary worship husband permission

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

If one has in the past been negligent of their obligatory prayers and fasts, then the absolute first thing one can and must do is immediately turn back to his Lord Most Gracious in sincere Taubah for their lapse, and make a solemn and sincere intention that from this day forward, they will never ever miss even one obligatory prayer or fast ever again.  If that person is sincere in seeking repentance, it is expected that they will find his Lord Merciful and Forgiving.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy!  Surely,  Allah forgives all sins.   He indeed is the All Forgiving,  All Merciful.   Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you;  for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who,  if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin,  remember Allah instantly,  and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings.  For who,  but Allah,  can forgive sins?   (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did.   These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah,  and with Gardens beneath which canals flow,  and they will reside therein forever!   How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs,  say: "Peace be on you!  Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy.  Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance,  and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct),  Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving,  Most Merciful."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith  2357       Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."

 

If one who has missed one’s obligatory duties unto their Lord turns back to their Lord Most Gracious in sincere ‘taubah’ and repentance, and subsequently amend their conduct, it is expected that they will find their Lord Forgiving and Merciful.

 

But if one is so ashamed and so repentant at one’s missing of one’s absolutely obligatory duties unto their Lord, and their hearts do not find satisfaction until they have paid their dues unto their Lord…..it is absolutely permissible for such sincerely repentant and fearful slaves of the Lord to fulfill those missed prayers and fasts in any format they desire or is easy for them.  And in addition to that, one should strive to increase their supererogatory prayers and fasts (Sunnah and Nafl)….for if there is any deficiency in their obligatory worship, these supererogatory worships will help fill those deficiencies.

 

Abu Hurairah reports that the Prophet (saws) said: "The first thing that the people will be called to account for on the Day of Resurrection will be the prayers. Our Lord will say to the Angels although He knows better: 'Look into the ‘Salah’ of My servant to see if he observed it perfectly or been negligent in it.’  So if he observed it perfectly it will be recorded to his credit, but if he had been negligent in it in any way, Allah would say: ‘See if My servant has any supererogatory (nafl) prayers.’ Then if he has any supererogatory prayers, Allah would say: ‘Make up the deficiency in My servant's obligatory prayer with his supererogatory prayers.' Thereafter all his actions will be examined in like manner"

Related by Abu Dawud.

 

We reiterate again that sincere ‘taubah’ and repentance by itself will indeed wipe away all their sins from their ‘book of records’, for our Lord Most Gracious is indeed Forgiving and Merciful to those who turn back to Him in sincere repentance. 

 

But if one so fears their Lord and their Day of Accounting, and are so ashamed and repentant at their lapse that their hearts will not find satisfaction unless and until  they manifest their atonement, there is absolutely no harm in them fulfilling those missed prayers and fasts in any format they desire or is easy for them; it is expected that their Lord Most Gracious will accept their repentance and will turn towards them with His Infinite Mercy and Forgiveness.

 

Your Question: My husband says that I should not do it on a continuous basis and says that "if you want to fast, do it only two days in week i.e (Mondays&thursdays only" . I got very imotional yesterday on this issue and told him that I will continue doing it even if I have break our relationship.

Please advise whether I am right or wrong.

Abu Hurairah reported that the Prophet (saws) said: "A woman is not to fast [even] for one day while her husband is present except with his permission, unless it is during Ramadan."

Related by Ahmad, Bukhari, and Muslim.

 

Respected sister in Islam, as much as you may wish to atone for your missed fasts as soon as possible….in light of the above absolutely clear guidance of the Messenger of Allah (saws), it is not lawful for a believing woman who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day to offer a voluntary fast without the permission of her husband.

 

The guidance of Islam places tremendous importance on developing and maintaining harmony in the sacred marital relations between a husband and a wife in marriage….and as much as the woman may wish to atone for her past negligence unto her Lord, she is not to do so by denying the husband his lawful rights. 

 

Thus sister, in this particular instance, your husband is absolutely right and well within his rights to be dissatisfied at your continuous voluntary fasting…..and it would only be piety and righteousness on your part that you accept his suggestion and observe two fasts a week until you fulfill the required number of missed fasts.

 

Your Question: Secondly, I am consuming about 3-3 and half hour for my earlier missed Salah on a daily basis, as per my calculations I have completed until today for 5 years and want to continue this practice utill I can cover another 5 years. This is issue is also a subject of argumentation.

Respected Sister in Islam, it is your obligatory duty to do whatever it takes to develop and maintain harmony in your sacred marital relations with your husband.

 

If truth be told sister, three and a half hours a day, every day, is indeed a long time to offer one’s missed prayers….a prayer would normally not take more than a few minutes and if you made it a habit to offer one additional prayer as atonement for your missed prayers with every obligatory prayer, it would not take you more than ten-fifteen minutes to fulfill your prayers.  Hopefully this format will allow you to fulfill your rights unto your Lord without compromising the rights that are due to your husband.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.189         Narrated by Abu Juhaifa

The Prophet (saws) made a bond of brotherhood between Salman and Abu Ad-Darda.  Salman paid a visit to Abu Ad-Darda and found Um Ad-Darda dressed in shabby clothes and asked her why she was in that state. She replied, "Your brother Abu Ad-Darda' is not interested in (the luxuries of) this world." In the meantime Abu Ad-Darda'\ came and prepared a meal for Salman. Salman requested Abu Ad-Darda' to eat (with him), but Abu Ad-Darda' said, "I am fasting." Salman said, "I am not going to eat unless you eat." So, Abu Ad-Darda'\ ate (with Salman). When it was night and (a part of the night passed), Abu Ad-Darda'\ got up (to offer the voluntary night prayers), but Salman told him to sleep and Abu Ad-Darda slept. After sometime Abu Ad-Darda again got up but Salman told him to sleep. When it was the last hours of the night, Salman told him to get up then, and both of them offered the prayer. Salman told Abu Ad-Darda', "Your Lord has a right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on you; so you should give the rights of all those who have a right on you." Abu Ad-Darda came to the Prophet and narrated the whole story. The Prophet (saws) said, "Salman has spoken the truth."

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan