Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother Burhan,

 

First of all thank u for the great service u r rendering to propagate the true picture of Islam to all the umma, ur e-mail not only help us to come closer to our religion, but to practice it in our day to day life in more simple way as practice by our prophet and his beloved companions.

Before asking u my question let me brief u about my background, I am from India, and ours is a joint family from three generation, recently we have separated from our fore father house due to it capacity issue till recently we all were leaving in the same house, currently we have moved from our ancestral home with my father, mother and a brother and we both are married I am leaving in Saudi Arabia and my brother is with my father and mother back at home, I am married to the daughter of maternal uncle and she has been brought up in complete Islamic culture of KSA. When ever I go back to my home in India my wife refuses to come out in front of my brother, even when I request her to cover every thing except face, it has been our family tradition to take our meal all together at one time, she simple quote me one ayah from soorey noor and i.e. Ayah no 31, due to this issue there I have to keep quite and listen to her, due to which there is no social mixing either at my home or with my ancestral home.

 

My question to your good self is how far does Islam permits a women to mix her up with the family member like mine, what is the best practice she can do to ensure her modesty is safe guarded and at the same time my family boundednes as one is kept intact, kindly advise the best possible solution from both Quran and Hadis.

 

Your answer to query in the light of Quran and Hadis will be highly appreciated.

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Hamu in laws family gathering veil

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

May Allah Subhanah reward you with the best of this world and the Hereafter for your kind comments of encouragement for our humble efforts in the propagation of the Truth.  If our humble and modest efforts have helped even one brother or sister get closer to Allah and His Deen of Truth, then we would consider ourselves indeed fortunate to have been given this opportunity by the Lord Most Merciful to serve in His Cause.  We hope, beg, and pray the Merciful Lord accepts our humble and weak efforts, forgives us our shortcomings, and saves you, us, and all the believers from the torment of the Hell Fire.  Ameen.

 

Your Question: My question to your good self is how far does Islam permits a women to mix her up with the family member like mine, what is the best practice she can do to ensure her modesty is safe guarded and at the same time my family boundednes as one is kept intact, kindly advise the best possible solution from both Quran and Hadis.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verses 30-31:

30      Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do

31     And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands their fathers their husbands' fathers their sons their husbands' sons their brothers or their brothers' sons or their sisters' sons or their women or the slaves whom their right hands possess or male servants free of physical needs or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments.  And O ye Believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah that ye may attain Bliss.

 

Islam does not at all prohibit a believing woman from mixing freely with her mehram relatives; thus she is at absolute liberty to associate herself with her husband, her children, her brother, her husband’s father, etc.

 

Now the issue is with your brother, who obviously is a non-mehram to your wife.  There is absolutely no harm if your wife is present in the company of your family or your brother, provided she is completely covered as she would in front of all non-mehram.  What Islam does strictly prohibit is that your wife ever associate herself alone with your brother casually and without absolutely genuine reason…for that then would indeed be wrong.

 

But as long as your wife interacts or sits with your family where your brother is present, and she is completely covered and scrupulously guards her modesty, there is absolutely no harm.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.159         Narrated by Uqba bin Amir

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Beware of entering upon the (non-mehram) ladies." A man from the Ansar said, "O Allah's Messenger (saws)! What about ‘Al-Hamu’ (the non-mehram male in-laws of the wife like the brothers of her husband, or his nephews etc.)?" The Prophet (saws) replied: ‘The ‘Hamu’ of the wife are death itself!!’

 

The relation of ‘Al-Hamu’ (non-mehram male in-laws of the wife) are such that in-spite of being non-mehrams, they are such regular visitors to the house and are treated as such close relatives, that at times it is possible that the sanctity of the ‘hijaab’ with them is compromised.

 

Because of their proximity of relations, it is possible that the wife lets her guard down towards her ‘Hamu’ relatives, and one amongst them who possesses an evil heart is drawn towards her or his behavior gives rise to suspicion or accusation of developing an illicit relationship with the wife.   The effect of such situations, suspicions, or accusations are so devastating that not only would it jeopardize the sacred relationship between a husband and a wife, but Allah forbid, it might even result in a brother becoming an enemy of his own brother!

 

That is precisely why the Messenger of Allah (saws) guided the believing woman to be extra careful in her dealings with her ‘Hamu’ relatives calling this relation death and destruction itself; never ever let her guard down with them, treat and behave with them exactly as she would with a non-mehram, never ever sit with them alone, or engage privately in vain or casual talk with them….but at all times, honor and scrupulously preserve the sanctity of the ‘hijaab’ with them. 

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan