Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear brother,

Thanks for your detailed & prompt response.  However, still there remains certain doubts in my mind.  You know the sort of evils which are prevailing in our society.  While studying in a college or doing a job a boy or girl can indulge into some sort of illigal relationship with any other person.  To avoid this situaion; isn't it suitalbe to maintain a contact with your fiancee? when you think that you can guide her to the streight path.  Secondly, whatever discussiion we do (on email, sms etc) my fiencee share it with her mother (who is my aunt) so here we meet the requirment i.e. to have a mehram from girls' side.

I would apprecaite to have your response as soon as possible.

Your brother in Islam.

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Communication with Finance

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Not only is it permissible, but the guidance of  Messenger of Allah (saws) absolutely encourages the believers to see, and even meet and talk with one whom they wish to marry, provided the girl is accompanied by at least one of her mehram male relatives (father, uncle, brother, etc.)

 

Jaber related that the Prophet (saws) said: ‘When one of you seeks a woman in marriage let him look at whom he wishes to marry.’ Related by Abu Dawood

Mughirah ibn Shu'bah narrated: ‘I sought a woman in marriage. The Messenger of Allah (saws) asked me :’Have you seen her?’  I said : ‘No.’  He (saws) then said: Then look at her, because it is more proper that love should be cemented between you.’

Related by Ahmed, Ibn Majah, Nasai, and Trimidhi.

 

Dear and beloved brother in Islam, the Messenger of Allah (saws) encouraged the believers who wish to marry to see, and even meet and talk if they wish to do so with the girl they are contemplating marriage, provided the girl is accompanied by her mehram male relative like her father, or her uncle, or her adult brother, etc.  There is absolutely no harm in such interaction, provided both parties fear Allah and they sincerely intend to marry each other. 

 

But both parties should fear Allah and absolutely abstain from meeting or talking alone without the presence of the girls mehram amongst them, for that leaves the door wide open for the Shaytaan to play his mischief.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118        Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram) woman, the Shaytaan makes the third."

 

Your Statements: …..You know the sort of evils which are prevailing in our society.  While studying in a college or doing a job a boy or girl can indulge into some sort of illigal relationship with any other person.  To avoid this situaion; isn't it suitalbe to maintain a contact with your fiancee?

My dear and beloved brother, to segregate the sexes is an unconditional Command of Allah and His Messenger (saws)….thus regardless of whether one is at home, or at college, or at work….one is bound to stay within the boundaries of Allah and strive to categorically segregate oneself from non-mehram members of the opposite sex, unless and until one has an absolutely genuine need.

 

The fact remains that unless and until one unites with their fiancé in the sacred institution of ‘nikaah’, all the restrictions which apply to non-mehrams would apply to one’s fiancé….for an engagement to marry has absolutely no legal basis or weight in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah.

 

If one so fears for the well-being of their fiancé who happens to be attending college or working, it would obviously be better and purer and closer to reason that one perform a legal ‘nikaah’ with her…. then the two would be permitted to keep in touch with each other as often as their heart’s desire…..

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan