What should i do and what are the rules in islam for the custody of the child after the divorce, i have already given her one divorce.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Asalamalaikum,i am receiving your hadith e-mails and it has helped me a lot in changing myself and fearing allah, i have been married since 7 years and have a 4and a half year daughter, my wife and mine was an arranged marriage by our parents and my age was just 21 years,then after 2 years i got my vidai....got my wife to my house.....since our marriage where we had not taken the vidai(she was staying at her mothers house)we used to have fights....she is the only daughter and her father stays abroad,she gets these anger phases...we have fought a lot in these 7 years, for 6months she was staying at her mum`s house, i seperated from my parents for her sake...now when her mao is staying with us she still does not listen to me,talk very rude,talk bad about my parents in my presence,fight with me on small matters,her mother says she has some sprit on her and will be fine after this black magic is removed, i am still staying with her for two reasons.....islam and my daughter...please guide me what should i do and what are the rules in islam for the custody of the child after the divorce, i have already given her one divorce. 


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Disobedient wife divorce custody

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verse 21:

21      And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.


Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469     Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272        Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285         Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.’


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286         Narrated by Umm Salamah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.’


Your Question:...please guide me what should i do

Dear and beloved brother in Islam, if your wife does not give you the honor and respect that is due to a husband in the sacred bond of marriage in Islam, you have two lawful options:

  1. You continue to fear Allah your Lord and fulfill each and every right that is due to her in the marriage, admonish her firmly regarding her unjust and unlawful behavior towards you, bear her attitude and behavior towards you with patience expecting your rewards only from Allah Subhanah…and thus save your marriage.
  2. If you cannot bring yourself to bear the injustice and usurping of your lawful rights in the marriage, you are obviously well within your rights to seek a permanent separation from such a undutiful wife through divorce, and there would be neither blame nor sin upon you.


Dear and beloved brother, if indeed you chose the option to divorce your wife, fear Allah, and just as the two of you once united in the sacred bond of marriage in peace and harmony, make sure that you set her free through divorce in peace, and with honor and extreme benevolence…..that would be akin to piety and righteousness in the Sight of your Lord All Knowing, All Wise.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 231:

231    When ye divorce women and they fulfil the term of their (Iddah) either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms; but do not take them back to injure them or to take undue advantage; if anyone does that He wrongs his own soul.  Do not treat Allah's Signs as a jest but solemnly rehearse Allah's favors on you and the fact that He sent down to you the Book and Wisdom for your instruction.  And fear Allah and know that Allah is well acquainted with all things.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 130:

130    But if they disagree (and must part through divorce) Allah will provide abundance for all from His all-reaching bounty: for Allah is He that Cares for all and is Wise.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 19-21:

19      O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will.  Nor should ye treat them with harshness that ye may take away part of the dower (mehr) ye have given them except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity.  If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.

20      But if ye decide to take one wife in place of another even if ye had given the latter a whole treasure for dower, take not the least bit of it back: would ye take it by slander and a manifest wrong?

21      And how could ye take it back when ye have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?


Your Question:….. and what are the rules in islam for the custody of the child after the divorce

In normal cases, Shariah Law prescribes the custody of the children who are below the age of puberty and understanding to the mother, with the father having fair visitation rights.  When the children have passed the age of puberty and understanding and the father wishes to gain custody of the children, he has to take his custody case to a Shariah Court.  The Shariah Court Judge will then ask the children whom they wish to live with: their mother, or their father.  Whatever the children decide will be implemented and enforced by the Shariah Court, and the party who loses custody will be given fair visitation rights.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,





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