"I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce,".

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

In one of your Fatwa, I read this Hadidth

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4928 Narrated by Abud Darda

When a man came to him and said, "I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce," he replied to him that he had heard Allah`s Messenger (peace be upon him) say, "A parent is the best of the gates of Paradise; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it."

Can you state why is it so. Mother could have been wrong? Why Islam has choosen to destroy a life of women. A women is on plight of her husband after shaadi. She has devoted her full life to spend with a person in somecases have lost her virginity and has childern. Please explain. 


(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)




Divorce wife on mother’s command

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, it is obvious that when the Messenger of Allah (saws) gave the verdict, it would be known to him that the mother of the companion was a righteous and pious woman and her demand or command to his son to divorce his wife was for an absolutely genuine and valid Shariah reason, and not for some frivolous reason like caste, color, nationality, height, etc.


Amongst all of creation, a parent and especially the mother is the absolute and best well-wisher of their own off-spring….and it would just not be consonant with the nature of a parent or a mother to intentionally hurt, or oppress, or bring pain to their children.  As much as most pious and God-fearing women might devote her full life to living her life within the boundaries of her Lord and sacrifice in her marriage….there are also some women who with their beliefs, or character, or manners, or practice, or deeds may bring about harm upon their husband and their families, not only in the life of this world, but also in the life of the Hereafter.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 64 Surah Taghabun verse 14:

14      O ye who believe! Truly amongst your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them!


In that particular instance and case where the Messenger of Allah (saws) agreed with the command of a mother to his son to divorce his wife, it is obvious that this wife was neither good for her husband in this life and the Hereafter. 


This guidance of the Prophet (saws) cannot be taken as a general Law of Shariah that whenever a mother commands his son to divorce his wife, it would become the duty of the son to obey her….but one would have to study each individual case on its merit, and if the reasons behind the command of the mother are genuine and in accordance with the Shariah, the son should obey her command….and if the reasons behind the command of his mother to divorce his wife are frivolous and against the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws), he is not duty-bound to obey her unlawful command.


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3696        Narrated by An-Nawwas ibn Sam'an

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator."


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,






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