Im a little shy person and i feel shy to ask question to people about secrets. but i feel u can help me inthis. iv been married for around 8 years im a father of a child. But recently i came to know that we have to say dua before intercourse.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalam
O Alaikum
Im a
little shy person and i feel shy to ask question to people about secrets. but i
feel u can help me inthis. iv been married for around 8 years im a father of a
child. But recently i came to know that we have to say dua before intercourse
all i use to do was say bismillah. i want to know proper way of gusul also. i
want to know that iv heard oral sex is also haraam is it true. if it is true
what should we do as we have been doing since we were married. i hope u will
help me in this matter.
Allah
Hafiz
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Answer:
Dua before sex
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Beloved brother in Islam, never ever hesitate or apologize
for asking any questions in the deen; for the deen or ‘way of life’ called
Al-Islam is based on the Perfect Wisdom and Knowledge of the All Knowing Lord,
and every single command of the All Wise Lord is abundant in common-sense and
logic. Asking any type of questions in
Islam to gain more knowledge, or to confirm the Truth so that one’s heart is
more content, or to understand and thus follow with more conviction the
dictates of the deen is not only permissible, but absolutely encouraged in
Islam. It is the right of the brother or
sister to ask anything they wish to clarify in the deen; and it is the
responsibility and duty of the good scholars to address the question asked to
the best of their knowledge and ability, and in the most polite and humble
manner.
What is discouraged in Islam is if one asks questions for
the sake of asking, or arguing to ridicule the Truth with absolutely no
intention of obeying or following when the Truth is made clear to them,
etc. But if one asks questions to
clarify and seek knowledge so that one may better follow the deen; such seeking
of the Knowledge of Truth is absolutely encouraged in Islam
Your Question: But
recently i came to know that we have to say dua before intercourse all i use to
do was say bismillah.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.493 Narrated by Ibn Abbas
The Prophet (saws) said, "If anyone of
you, when having sexual relation with his wife, says: 'Bismillah. Allah humma jannib nas-Shaytaan wa jannib
nas-Shaytaana feema razaktana’ (In the name of Allah. O Allah! Protect us from
the Shaytaan and prevent the Shaytaan from approaching our offspring you are
going to give us,) and if he begets a child (as a result of that relation)
Shaytaan will not (be able to) harm it."
Your Question: i
want to know proper way of gusul also
Fiqh-us-Sunnah Fiqh
1.58a
According to the
practice of the Prophet (saws) the correct manner of performing ghusl after
making intention to purify oneself and saying ‘Bismillah’ is:
5. pour water over the
entire body, begining with the right side, then the left, washing under the
armpits, inside the ears, inside the navel, inside the toes and whatever part
of the body can be easily rubbed. This account is based on the following report
from 'Aishah, the wife of the Prophet (saws): "When the Prophet (saws)
took his bath after sexual intercourse, he would begin by washing his hands.
Then he would pour water from his right hand to his left and wash his sexual
organs, make the ablution for prayer, take some water and put his fingers to
the roots of his hair to the extent that he sees that the skin is wet, then
pour water over his head three times and then over the rest of his body."
(Related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.) In one narration it states, "He (saws)
used to rub his head with his hands until he was certain the water reached his
skin, and then he poured water over it three times." It is also related
that she said, "When the Prophet (saws) would perform ghusl after having
had sexual intercourse, he would call for some water, which he would pour on
his right hand to wash the right side of his head and then the left. He would
then take water with both hands and pour it over his head." Said Maimunah,
the wife of the Prophet (saws) "I
put water out for the Messenger of Allah (saws) to perform ghusl. He washed his
hands two or three times, and then he poured water from his right hand to his
left and washed his private parts, wiped his hands on the earth, rinsed his
mouth and nose, washed his face and hands, washed his head three times, poured
water over his body, and finally moved from his place and washed his feet. I
brought him a towel, but he did not take it, for he shook the water off with
his hands." (Related by Bukhari, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood.)
Your Question:
….that iv heard oral sex is also haraam is it true. if it is true what should
we do as we have been doing since we were married.
To derive pleasure by touching ones spouse’s private parts
with the mouth is what is known as ‘oral sex’.
Such an act is obviously unnatural, unhealthy, unhygienic,
unclean, impure and this act is not found even in any of the lower animate
creations!
Because oral sex is a new deviation of mankind, it finds
specific mention neither in the Quran nor the Sunnah!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah
Aaraaf verse 157:
157 Those who follow the Messenger, the ‘Ummi’ (unlettered) Prophet
(Mohammed (saws)) whom they find mentioned in their own (Scriptures); in the Law
and the Gospel; for he (Prophet Mohamed (saws)) commands them what is just and
forbids them what is evil: he allows them as lawful what is ‘tayyibaat’
(good and pure) and prohibits them from what is ‘Khabaayith’ (bad, evil and impure);
He releases them from their heavy burdens and from the yokes that are upon
them. So it is those who believe in him,
honor him, help him, and follow the Light which is sent down with him: it is
they who will prosper."
But since the permissibility/impermissibility of this
specific act of what is known today as ‘oral sex’ is not mentioned by name or
act anywhere in the Quran and the Sunnah, the God-fearing and the pious amongst
the scholars in Islam have abstained from declaring it ‘haraam’; the most they
have said is that the act is from the ‘khabaaith’ (impure) and thus closer to
the haraam than to the halaal, and the believers should fear Allah and abstain
from it.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.267 Narrated by An Numan bin Bashir
The Prophet (saws) said "Both the halaal
(lawful) and the haraam (unlawful) things are (made) obvious, and in between
them are (suspicious) doubtful matters.
So whoever forsakes those doubtful things lest he may commit a sin, will
definitely avoid what is clearly unlawful; and whoever indulges in these
(suspicious) doubtful things bravely, is likely to commit what is clearly
illegal. Sins are Allah's Hima (i.e.
private pasture) and whoever pastures (his sheep) near it, is likely to get in
it at any moment."
Beloved brother in Islam, given the unbelievable liberty
Islam has granted to the husband and the wife to enjoy conjugal relations in
their sacred bond of marriage, in our humble opinion, it would be best for the
believers who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day to strive to abstain from
this doubtful act of ‘oral sex’; and Allah Alone Knows Best.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
