Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I want to know the limitations of islam if a girl and a boy are going to be married sooner and they wanted to marry anyhow is it a gunnah if they touch or have romance with each other before marraige and what are the limitations regarding this, if a girl or a boy meet and they had some romance by there own wish and they wanted to do all that then what is it called?and whats the punishment?

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Sin minor zina

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Question: I want to know the limitations of islam if a girl and a boy are going to be married sooner and they wanted to marry anyhow is it a gunnah if they touch or have romance with each other before marraige and what are the limitations regarding this

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, an intention or ‘engagement’ between a man and a woman to marry has absolutely no legal basis or standing in Shariah, and the man and the woman will be considered non-mehrams to each other until their actual ‘nikaah’ is performed.

 

Unless and until their ‘nikaah’ is performed, all the restrictions and limitations and commandments that are prescribed in the Quran and Sunnah between two non-mehram members of the opposite sex must be honored and followed by those who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day. 

 

Islam has permitted the believing man and the believing woman who wish to marry each other to meet and talk before they marry, if they wish to do so; with the absolutely obligatory condition that the woman is accompanied by her mehram relative (her father, or her uncle, or her adult brother, etc.)

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118        Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram) woman, the Shaytaan makes the third."

 

It would be absolutely impermissible for a believing man and a non-mehram believing woman who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day to casually meet or talk in private alone before their marriage, either physically or through medium of phones, internet, sms, etc.

 

A better, purer, lasting and absolutely lawful solution between two people who are ‘engaged’ to marry, and cannot or do not wish for any reason to marry and live with each other immediately, or wish to delay their marriage for any reason whatsoever….but wish to lawfully meet, talk, and ‘date’ each other is to convince their parents to perform the legal ‘nikaah’ between them now, and solemnize the actual marriage at a later convenient date.  This way the boy and the girl are legally married in the Sight of Shariah, and everything that would be lawful to a couple in marriage would be lawful to them….and thus they can lawfully meet, talk, and associate with each other to their heart’s content without any restrictions whatsoever.

 

Your Question: ….if a girl or a boy meet and they had some romance by there own wish and they wanted to do all that then what is it called?and whats the punishment? 

If two non-mehram members of the opposite sex who are not legally married to each other were to meet alone and indulge in a romantic relationship with each other, they would indeed be guilty of approaching a relationship of ‘zina’ in the Sight of Allah Subhanah!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:

Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4886  Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

That he heard the Messenger of Allah (saws) say: ‘The eye commits ‘zina’, and the palm of the hand, the foot, the body, the tongue and private part of the body confirm it or deny it.’

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.260         Narrated by Ibn Abbas

I have not seen a thing resembling 'lamam' (minor sins) than what Abu Huraira narrated from the Prophet (saws) who said "Allah has written for the children of Adan their share of ‘zina’ which he commits inevitably. The ‘zina’ of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the ‘zina’ of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it."

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 36 Surah Ya-Seen verse 65:

65      That Day shall We set a seal on their mouths.  But their hands will speak to Us and their feet bear witness to all that they did.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 41 Surah Ha-Meem verses 19-23:

19      On the Day that the enemies of Allah will be gathered together to the Fire they will be marched in ranks.

20      At length when they reach the (Fire) their hearing, their sight, and their skins will bear witness against them as to (all) their deeds.

21      They will say to their skins: "Why bear ye witness against us?"  They (their skins) will say: "Allah hath given us speech, (He) Who giveth speech to everything: He created you for the first time and unto Him were ye to return.

22      "Ye did not seek to hide yourselves lest your hearing, your sight, and your skins should bear witness against you! But ye did think that Allah knew not many of the things that ye used to do!

23      "But this thought of yours which ye did entertain concerning your Lord hath brought you to destruction, and (now) have ye become of those utterly lost!"

 

Although in legal terminology ‘zina’ would constitute the actual penetration of the male organ into the female organ out of wedlock, the Messenger of Allah (saws) warned the believers regarding the minor ‘zina’ of the eyes, hands, legs, etc. Not only is the evil act of ‘zina’ prescribed as absolutely forbidden in Islam, every path or every way that leads one to this evil path is also declared as forbidden!  Such is the gravity of this abomination of ‘zina’, that Allah Subhanah commands the believers in the Quran: ‘Do not even go near ‘zina’!!!

 

Thus if one intentionally sees and watches ‘fahisha’ (indecency), it would constitute ‘zina’ of the eyes; if one derives pleasure from talks of ‘fahisha’, it would constitute ‘zina’ of the ears and mouth, if one touches or goes towards something or someone with the intention of ‘fahisha’, it would constitute ‘zina’ of the hands and the legs!  Although there is no prescribed punishment for the ‘zina’ of the eyes, mouth, ears, hands and feet in the life of this world, if one dies without seeking ‘taubah’ and repentance from their Lord, he will be held severely accountable for these acts of ‘minor’ zina in the Presence of their Majestic Lord in the Hereafter.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 33:

33      Say (O Prophet (saws)): ‘The things that my Lord hath indeed (absolutely) forbidden (declared ‘haraam’) are: ‘fahisha’ (shameful deeds) whether open or secret; sins and trespasses against truth or reason; assigning of partners to Allah for which He hath given no authority; and saying things about Allah of which ye have no knowledge.

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan