Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

What about shaking hand with a woman who do not understand Islam and may kate a serious offence?

 

Regards

 

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Shake hands with women

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Beloved brother, the truth is that it would take only one-muslim brother to politely decline shaking the hand of a non-mehram woman for that woman to understand that such a thing is inappropriate to muslims!  Besides strange men and women shaking hands is considered unacceptable and inappropriate in almost every ‘eastern’ culture. 

 

If one perchance happens to meet a woman who neither understands the etiquettes of modesty, nor the protocols of Islam, nor the customs of the ‘eastern’ culture…..and instead of the one whose modesty is challenged taking offence, the challenger herself takes serious offence….then it would only be akin to piety and righteousness that a believer, who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day, either abstains from putting himself in a situation whereby he has to meet such a person, or get someone to appropriately signal or warn the person that the shaking of hands between non-mehram members of the opposite sex is inappropriate, etc. 

 

Beloved brother, in our own humble experience, we have found that most women who are politely refused do not take any offence at all, but in fact appreciate the modesty and righteousness of the brother.  But more often than not what really confuses them is that another brother who claims to be a muslim has absolutely no issues with such fineries of modesty, and is foremost in not only shaking their hand, but if given the opportunity is more than willing to hug or even kiss them on their cheeks as an accepted form of greeting!

 

But it would truly be ignorance, if not outright arrogance, if a woman were to take serious offence when one who is bound by modesty and piety and righteousness were to politely refuse shaking her hand.  Whatever the situation and case, it would simply neither behove nor befit a believer who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day to intentionally touch or shake the hands of a non-mehram woman. If the refusal to shake the lady’s hand were to offend her, then the believer should know that the shaking of her hand would offend and transgress the Boundaries of The Majestic Lord of the Worlds!

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3696        Narrated by An-Nawwas ibn Sam'an

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator."

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verse 31:

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty…

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verses 30:

Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.

 

If one studies the below quoted verse of Surah Ahzaab, Allah Subhanah is Commanding some of the most pious and God-fearing men who ever walked on this earth, the noble companions of the Prophet (saws) that if and when they wish to talk or ask for anything from the Prophet’s (saws) wives, who themselves were some of the most pious and God-fearing women who ever walked on this planet earth…..they should do so from behind a screen or a veil, for that makes for greater piety and purity for their hearts!  

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 53:

53      O ye who Believe! Enter not the Prophet's houses until leave is given you for a meal (and then) not (so early as) to wait for its preparation: but when ye are invited enter; and when ye have taken your meal disperse without seeking familiar talk.  Such (behavior) annoys the Prophet: He is ashamed to dismiss you, but Allah is not ashamed (to tell you) the truth.  And when ye ask (The Prophet’s wives) for anything ye want ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs.  Nor is it right for you that ye should annoy Allah's Messenger or that ye should marry his widows after him at any time.  Truly such a thing is in Allah's Sight an enormity.

 

Leave alone the issue of shaking hands on non-mehram members of the opposite sex, the Lord Most High has Commanded the noble and pious companions and the noble and chaste wives of the Prophet (saws), that if even they, for any genuine reason, may need to talk or ask anything from each other, it is best done from behind a screen or veil! 

 

When those who are amongst the purest amongst all of mankind are Commanded and reminded to so scrupulously preserve their modesty, one can only imagine what precautions the believers of today would need to be considered modest or pure in the Sight of Allah Subhanah! 

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.8  Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "Faith (Emaan) consists of more than sixty branches (i.e. parts), and ‘Haya’ (The Arabic term "Haya" covers a large number of concepts which are to be taken together; amongst them are self respect, modesty, bashfulness, scruple, etc.) is a part of faith."

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan