Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamualikum, I have an important question. There are Ahadeth that prophet Mohammad told some man to divorce his wife as his father did not like his wife. In Pakistan mother-in-laws do not like their daughter-in-laws mostly. Sometimes they are just possessive about their sons. They dislike thier daghter-in-laws even for reasons like they did not give enouh `dahag` (dahag is a tradition adopted from Hindus, in which the parents of the girl give a lot of money or other materialstic things to the parents of the man). Many people refuse to take a girl in marriage because she can not give dahag, or keep on taunting the girl after marriage. If the mothers or fathers dislike the girl even when the girl is nice due to stupid reason, whose side should the man take.

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Can husband divorce if parents order without cause

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol,  no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

The hadith you are referring to is probably this one:

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4940        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

I had a wife whom I loved but whom (my father) Umar disliked.  He told me to divorce her and when I refused,  Umar went to Allah's Messenger (saws) and mentioned the matter to him.  Allah's Messenger (saws) then told me to divorce her.

 

It is understood that a person of the stature of Hadrat Umar (r.a.) would not command his son to divorce his wife for petty or frivolous reasons;  but rather it would be a matter of the deen.   

 

Your Question: If the mothers or fathers dislike the girl even when the girl is nice due to stupid reason, whose side should the man take.

If the parents of the husband command their son to divorce his righteous believing wife for petty,  frivolous or worldly reasons,  the husband should fear Allah Subhanah and not do so.   In such a case,  there would be no sin on him for disobeying his parents.

 

But if his righteous and God-Fearing parents command their son to divorce his wife because of valid religious reasons,  it would be prudent to obey them.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your Brother in Islam,

 

 

Burhan