We are going to umrah inshallah and I intend to perform the umrah for my deceased parents(my mother passed away about 6 months ago and I was unfortunate enough not to go and see her knowing that she was in the emergency room and remembering me for 15 days before her death).
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Assalamalaikum,
please answer these questions for me. May allah bless you for all your good
work, ameen. We are going to umrah inshallah and I intend to perform the umrah
for my deceased parents(my mother passed away about 6 months ago and I was
unfortunate enough not to go and see her knowing that she was in the emergency
room and remembering me for 15 days before her death). I feel very guilty for I
did not see her for 3 years before her death. My dad passed away when I was
only 10 and my mother took care of us children with the support of my elder
brother(who is like a father figure to me) in the light of islam. we live in
the
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Answer:
Perform umrah for mother
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Q-1: when parents
have so much rights and respect due to them, how come a daughter can`t go and
attend her mother
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:
Your
Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him
Alone! Treat your parents with great
kindness; if either or both of them
attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them;
nor rebuke them; but speak to
them kind words. Treat them with
humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me
up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah
Luqmaan verse 14:
14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail
upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear
the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy
final) goal.
One cannot over-emphasize the respect and the rights that
are due to one’s parents in Islam, and a daughter is well within her rights in
Islam to attend to her parents needs in their hour of need. But Islam has also prescribed rights to other
close relatives like husbands, children, etc…..and it is the responsibility of
each individual to give each their due rights without effecting the rights of
the other.
When a woman gets married, her house, her husband, and her
children have due rights which too need to be fulfilled. If the husband wishes to temporarily
sacrifice the rights due unto him, his house, and his children from his wife, and
permits the wife to attend to her parents, there is absolutely no harm in the
wife doing so….but if the wife were to leave her husband and her children and
attend to her parents without the permission or consent of her husband, it is
possible that her marital life would be severely effected.
Q-2: Are the duties
towards parents more for the son than for the daughter?
Islam has laid the responsibility and made it the
obligatory duty of the sons to provide for the complete upkeep of their aged
parents; but in all other terms like respect, care, kindness, obedience, service,
etc. towards one’s parents there is absolutely no differentiation between the duties
of the sons and the daughters.
Q-3: Are the duties
towards one`s husband more than towards one`s parents (knowing that your
husband is wrong)
Because the woman has been prescribed duties and
responsibilities towards both, her parents and her husband….it is her
responsibility to fulfill the rights of each without affecting the rights of
the other.
The wife is well within her rights to, from her own means,
support her parents or arrange for someone to provide for their needs, be in
constant contact with them, visit them as often as possible, and strive her
utmost to fulfill every one of their lawful wishes and needs.
But if a situation arises whereby the wife is required to physically
spend a substantial amount of time with her aged parents, it would obviously
compromise the rights that are due to her husband, her children, and her house. Thus to maintain the sanctity of each
relationship and the family, Islam has guided the wife to seek the consent of her
husband; and if her husband approves, the wife should indeed go and attend to
her parents needs.
Q-4: my in-laws have
performed hajj and are in very good health, and financially good too, my
husband wanted to know if he can perform umrah on their behalf since we are
going to umrah for my parents.
If The Lord Most Gracious has bestowed one with faith,
abundance in wealth and health….it would obviously be best that that individual
perform the pilgrimage to the Sacred House themselves.
There is also room in Shariah for an individual to perform
the pilgrimage for their parents and/or loved ones, and if Allah Wills to
accept their striving, He Will bestow the due rewards not only for those whom
the pilgrimage was intended for, but also to the one who intends it.
We reiterate again that if one is bestowed with abundance
in wealth and has the physical ability and health to perform the pilgrimage, it
would obviously be best for that individual to visit the Sacred House and
perform the pilgrimage themselves.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
