Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Hello brother,

salam alailkum.

 

My younger brother died fifteen days ago in a tragic accident.What i wanted to ask is that even for a mother it's not permittable to visit graveyard because my mother keeps on insisting that she wants to go to the grave of my brother.

 

Thank you.

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Mother visit graveyards

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Abu Musa al-Ash'ari (r.a.) narrated that the Prophet (saws) said: "When a child of a Servant of Allah passes away, Allah says to the Angels (although Allah is All-Knowing): 'Did you take the soul of My servant's child?' They (the Angels) say: 'Yes.' He, the Almighty, says: 'Did you take away the apple of my servant's eye?' They (the Angels) say: 'Yes.' He, the Almighty says: 'What did My servant say at this?' They (the Angels) say: 'He praised You and said: "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'a un (Verily we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return)." At this Allah says: ' Build for My servant a mansion in Paradise and call it the House of Praise (Al-Bayt al-Hamd)'." Related by Tirmidhi.

 

Beloved Sister, may Allah Subhanah make your trial and the trial of your mother and your family easy for you, and bestow upon your parents the promised rewards for their patience and their gratitude unto their Lord.  Ameen.

 

Your Question: What i wanted to ask is that even for a mother it's not permittable to visit graveyard because my mother keeps on insisting that she wants to go to the grave of my brother.

There is absolutely no harm in Islam if a believing woman wishes to occasionally visit the graves of her loved ones. 

 

Hadrat Abdallah ibn Abi Mulaikah (r.a.) said, "Once Aishah (the wife of the Prophet (saws)) returned after visiting the graveyard. I asked, 'O Mother of the Believers, where have you been?' She said: 'I went out to visit the grave of my brother Abd ar-Rahman.' I asked her: 'Didn't the Messenger of Allah (saws) prohibit visiting graves?' She said, 'Yes, he did forbid visiting graves during the early days (of Islam), but later on he ordered us to visit them'."

Related by Al-Hakim and Al-Baihaqi.

 

The purpose of visiting graves is to remember the Hereafter, which is something that both men and women need.  Men are by no means more in need of this reminder than women.  Thus provided the woman does not violate the rights of her husband, or her duties towards her house and her children, and she does not violate any of the guidelines of Shariah in her dressing and adornment and speech, there is absolutely no harm if the believing woman occasionally visits the graveyards, if she wishes to do so.

 

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “, "May Allah curse the women who are frequent visitors of the graves."

Related by Ahmad and Tirmidhi.

 

Al-Qurtubi explains the implications of the above hadith: "The curse mentioned in this hadith applies only to those women who visit graves ‘frequently’.  The reason for this curse lies perhaps in the fact that it involves infringement of the rights of the husband, and leads to adornment and exhibition of their beauty to strangers, and shouting, yelling, and other similar things." It may be said that, "If no such harm is feared from women visiting graves, then there is no valid reason for preventing them from visiting graves, for indeed remembrance of death is something that both men and women equally need."

 

Most of the scholars in Islam hold it permissible for the believing women to visit the graves occasionally, if she wishes to do so;  but hold it forbidden for the women to visit the graves frequently as stated by the Messenger of Allah (saws).

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan