Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother,

Please advise me as per islamic law for the following problem:

 

A boy gets married by force from the family, though he doesnot like the girl. He tries to keep her happy even though he is almost like hate her. The same time the girl also orgueing and not obeying to her husband, which resulted in a big fight and finally the boy likes to leave her / divorce her.

 

The boy knows it is not correct to hurt her / her family by leaving her but he is completely not able to accept the girl cant make up his heart for this relation. Please advise what shall be done.

 

Many thanks for your urgent reply.

Sister of the boy

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Unhappy marriage and divorce

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Dear and beloved sister in Islam, human beings are not animals, where one keeps two animals together and expects them to get along with each other!  As much as Islam has guided the believers to fear Allah and maintain the sacred ties of marriage, and as much as the concept of divorce is hated and detested in the Sight of Allah…..Islam has allowed that the two believers who once chose to be bonded in the sacred institution of marriage, if for any reason do not like to live with one another, they have a lawful option to separate through divorce.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 128-130:

128    If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed.  But if ye do good and practice self-restraint Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.

129    Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from a woman) altogether so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air).  If ye come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

130    But if they (the husband and the wife) disagree (and decide upon a divorce), Allah will provide abundance for all from His all-reaching bounty: for Allah is He that careth for all and is Wise.

Islam Commands both the believing men and the believing women to always fear Allah at all times; and guides that if for any reason the marriage between two believers should end in a divorce, both should fear Allah their Lord, and just as they once met and united in peace, if for any reason they should decide to separate, they should do so in peace, in generosity and in magnanimity…..that would be akin to piety and righteousness in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

 

Your Statement: The boy knows it is not correct to hurt her / her family by leaving her but he is completely not able to accept the girl cant make up his heart for this relation. Please advise what shall be done.

Beloved sister in Islam, whatever the reasons for the disagreements in a marriage may be, if for any genuine and just reason/s the husband no longer is able to bring himself to love, honor, cherish and respect his wife as is her due in Islam, the couple have the lawful option of seeking freedom from each other through a divorce…..and both the believing husband and the believing wife are commanded and guided by Allah to fear Him, and even in divorce to do and say only what is akin to justice, piety and righteousness.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan