Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

 

assalamualikum,my female friend has done zina b4 marriage.after marriage she told 2 her husband that she has commited such zina.her husband laft her n doesnt 1 2 talk 2 her,it has been 1 year they never see neither talk 2 each other,she is seeking 4 help,what is she suppose 2 do?how can i help her as her friend?tq

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Confession of zina to husband

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

It does not behove and befit a believer, who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day, that when Allah Subhanah has covered and hidden the evil that has transpired in one’s past, to go around and expose it themselves!!!

 

Beloved sister, it would be prudent never ever to expose the evil one might have done in one’s past to anyone, especially after The Lord Most Gracious has concealed them Himself.  It may happen that although the wife may confess the evil that transpired in her past to her husband with the best of intentions, he may be of a nature whereby he cannot bring himself to accept the truth, and that might effect not only her honor in his eyes, but it might even have a negative effect on his marital relationship with her. 

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2492        Narrated by Hudhayfah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "It is not fitting for a believer to demean himself." On being asked how he could demean himself he (saws) replied, "By exposing himself to a calamity which he has not the capacity to endure."

 

It would be best and purest to confess the sins one might have committed or the evil that might have transpired in one,s past to none save Allah Subhanah; and never ever expose those deeds of the past which one is ashamed of to anyone in creation, especially after Allah Subhanah, in His Grace and Mercy, has concealed those deeds Himself. 

 

Your Question: her husband laft her n doesnt 1 2 talk 2 her,it has been 1 year they never see neither talk 2 each other,she is seeking 4 help,what is she suppose 2 do?

Whatever the dispute between the husband and the wife in Islam, neither the husband nor the wife has the moral or legal right in Shariah to live permanently separate from each other, whereby they are neither married nor are they divorced.  Either they reconcile their differences and live like a married couple together, or they seek separation through the institution of divorce.

 

If the husband cannot bring himself to forgive the past of his wife and live with his wife in peace, the only option left now is that the husband pronounces a divorce and permanently separates from his wife, so that she is free to marry another person if she chooses to do so.  If the husband for any reason, neither accepts to live with his wife in marriage nor pronounces a divorce to free her, the wife is well within her rights in Shariah to initiate a divorce proceedings against her husband and seek her freedom.

 

Your Question: how can i help her as her friend?

Beloved Sister in Islam, if the disputing parties accept your offer or invite you to arbitrate between them, you can try to reconcile their differences….other than that there is very little you can do!  As a well-wisher and friend, what you can and should do is guide the sister to seek repentance from her Lord for her past deeds, and earnestly supplicate the Lord to have mercy on her and accept her repentance. 

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan