Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salam
I was given talaq on the bases that i got sick after shadi with the blame that i already knew that i was sick which was not true. I believe that its a neuromuscular disorder that started after my shadi.All i want to know how should aman give talaq because what i have heard that a man needs to say talaq 3 different time while i was given divorce on paper. My exhusband has not piad my meher either while stealing my car which was in mydad`s name.  

 

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Answer:

 

Divorce Proceedings and Mehr

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Question: All i want to know how should a man give talaq because what i have heard that a man needs to say talaq 3 different time while i was given divorce on paper.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 237:

But there is no harm if (in the cases where divorce is given before consummation) the woman agrees to forego the mehr, or the man, in whose hands is the marriage tie, is generous enough (to pay the mehr in full).  And if you act generously, it is akin to piety.  Do not forget to show generosity in your dealings with one another, for Allah sees all that you do.

 

Dear and beloved sister in Islam, the All-Knowing, All-Wise Lord has bestowed the ties of marriage in the hands of the men in Islam.  Thus if the man wishes to divorce his wife at any time of his marriage and utters the words to the effect ‘I divorce you’, or writes a note to the effect, or declares it in front of a witness, etc.; the divorce will be legally established in the sight of Shariah and Islamic Law. 

 

Allah Subhanah has also permitted the men to revoke the announced divorce and take the wife back, if they wish to do so; but this right of revocable divorce is limited to twice in any one marriage, whereby the husband has a right to revoke the divorce and take his wife back.  If the husband announces a divorce for the third time, it will be considered an absolutely irrevocable and final divorce, and he is not allowed to marry the woman again unless she marries another person, and the new husband of his own free will divorces her, or dies.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 229-230:

229    A divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness.  It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives) except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah.  If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them.  If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).

230    So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably) he cannot after that remarry her until after she has married another husband and he has divorced her.  In that case there is no blame on either of them if they reunite provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah.  Such are the limits ordained by Allah which He makes plain to those who understand.

 

Your Question: how should a man give talaq

Islam has recognized that human beings are not like animals that once they are tied together, they must live together for the rest of their lives, whether they wish to do so or not!  If for any reason the married couple do not wish to live together as husband and wife, Islam has given them an honorable ‘exit-route’ in the form of divorce, and guided them that just as they once united in the sacred bond of marriage in peace, if for any reason they wish to separate, they should do so in peace, benevolence, and grace.

 

Thus the correct or Sunnah way for a man to declare divorce is to pronounce (declare, write, on the phone, or use any means available) a divorce once on his wife, making sure that his wife in not in her menses during the time of declaration.  If after the declaration of this first divorce, the couple do not conjugate, or the husband does not take his wife back within the ‘iddah’ or waiting period of three menstrual cycles of the woman, the divorce will be established.   The man and the woman are now divorced, they become non-mehrams to each other, and the woman is absolutely free to marry another man if she wishes to do so. 

 

Islam guides that the first two divorce declarations in any one marriage are revocable; thus if after the ‘iddah’ or waiting period of three menstrual cycles have elapsed and the couple change their minds and wish to marry again, it is absolutely permissible for the two of them to remarry, provided a brand new ‘nikaah’  is performed between them. 

 

Reconciliation between a couple is only permitted after the first or second declaration of divorce in any one marriage.  If the husband pronounces the divorce for a third time, it will be considered absolutely irrevocable and then it is not permissible for the same couple to marry again; unless the woman perchance marries another man, and the new husband of his own free will divorces her, or dies.

 

Your Question: i have heard that a man needs to say talaq 3 different time while i was given divorce on paper.

The husband only needs to pronounce divorce on his wife once, and if within the ‘iddah’ or waiting period of three menstrual cycles of the woman, the couple do not conjugate or the husband does not take his wife back, the divorce between them will be established, they become non-mehrams to each other, and the woman is absolutely free to marry another man if she wishes to do so. 

 

Regardless of the divorce was pronounced by the husband verbally, or written on a piece of paper, or delivered by post, or declared in front of witnesses, ….regardless of how the divorce is communicated, if the husband has pronounced divorce, it will be counted and deemed as one divorce declaration in the Sight of Shariah and Allah Subhanah.

 

Your Question: My exhusband has not piad my meher

The ‘mehr’ that was determined at the time of Nikaah, is a debt upon the man until he pays it to his wife, or the wife, of her own free will forgives all or a part of it. 

 

You have a right to initiate a case in a Shariah Court against your ex-husband and demand that he pay you the ‘mehr’.  If you live in a non-Islamic country or do not wish to go through the hassles of court proceedings to demand your right, rest assured that unless your ex-husband pays you your mehr right in full, he will have to account for his unpaid debt in the Just and Supreme Court of the Majestic Lord on an Inevitable Day; and on that Tumultuous Day, the currency of exchange will not be dollars or rupees, but the currency that will be used to settle debts will be ‘deeds’!!! 

 

The one who owes the debt will be required to pay the debtor with his extremely valuable good deeds, and if the person does not have any good deeds to settle his debt, he will take on the evil deeds of his debtor!  Allah is our witness, that true justice will be served in that Supreme and Majestic Court of the All-Just Lord.

 

Sahih Muslim Hadith 6251     Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) asked: ‘Do you know who is a ‘muflis’ (an absolute and abject pauper)?’  They (the Companions of the Prophet (saws)) said: ‘A ‘muflis’ amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth.’  He (the Prophet (saws)) said: ‘The ‘muflis’ (or absolute pauper) of my Ummah would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers and fasts and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others, unlawfully consumed the wealth of others, shed the blood of others, and beat others, and his virtues would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then his sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire!’

 

Your Statement:  while stealing my car which was in mydad`s name. 

Again sister, if you wish, you have a right to initiate a case in a court of law against your ex-husband and demand that he return your property back to you.  If for any reason, he gets away with his theft in this world, rest assured that he will have to repay what he took unjustly back to you in the Presence of the Supreme Lord of the Worlds on that Inevitable Day…. and the exchange on that day will be in the form of deeds!

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 19-21:

19      O ye who believe!  Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will.  Nor should ye treat them with harshness that ye may take away part of the dower ye have given them except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity.  If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.

20      But if ye decide to take one wife in place of another, even if ye had given the latter a whole treasure for dower take not the least bit of it back: would ye take it by slander and a manifest wrong?

21      And how could ye take it when ye have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?

Allah has declared it absolutely forbidden for any man who divorces his wife to take back the mehr or any gift he might have given her during their term of marriage!  If one is so daring, that not only does he not pay the ‘mehr’, but unjustly keeps something that rightfully belongs to his wife, Allah is our witness, if the person does not repent and return the due rights to his wife, he will have an extremely severe accounting in the Majestic Presence of the All-Mighty Lord on an Inevitable Day!  Allah is our witness, the recompense which he will make with his deeds for his this transgression on that Tumultuous Day will be nothing but a huge form of regret for him!

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

Burhan