Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

ASSALAMUALAIKUM.....i belong to a religious family...but my husbands family is though muslim but by name only...my in-laws family members don`t care for performing prayers or even fasting during the holy month of ramadan...`n so also my husband is...it`s now five years i`ve got married....though my husband is a noble person but he is indulged in some activities which are prohibited in islam...like he takes drugs...`n also doesn`t care for any sort of Islamic values....now i`ve a daughter who is going to be two years inshallah by the next month...`n i want to give my daughter a religious environment `n want to bring her up with proper Islamic values....so for that reason i `ve decided to live separately from my husband `n his family....but i don`t want to get divorced....coz that might end up our relation parmanently....i`ve decided to stay apart from him so that he might get his repentence by if Almighty Allah wills.....so now ....my question is ....have i taken the right decision ???..or is there anything else u can suggest for me `n my daughter....according to Holy Quran `n Hadith.....plzz....do reply...`n sorry for such a long letter. 

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Separate from husband but not divorce

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Statement: i belong to a religious family...but my husbands family is though muslim but by name only...my in-laws family members don`t care for performing prayers or even fasting during the holy month of ramadan...`n so also my husband is...it`s now five years i`ve got married....though my husband is a noble person but he is indulged in some activities which are prohibited in islam...like he takes drugs...`n also doesn`t care for any sort of Islamic values....

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, it is precisely to save oneself from such situations after marriage that Islam guides the guardians of the bride and the bride herself to check and absolutely verify the character and the performance in religion of the man before accepting a proposal for marriage; for the net result of not following the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws) will lead to nothing but extensive corruption.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090        Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption.'

 

Your Statement: so for that reason i `ve decided to live separately from my husband `n his family....but i don`t want to get divorced....

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, since you have agreed and vowed to unite with your husband in the sacred bond of marriage, as long as you remain married to him, regardless of your husbands character or performance in religion, and regardless of whether he chooses to fulfill his rights towards you or not…..you as a sincere believer in Allah and the Last Day, must fear Allah Subhanah and fulfill all your rights towards your husband in marriage.

 

Islam neither allows a couple to live together out of marriage, nor does Islam allow that a married couple should indulge in a separation without proper divorce!  In your present situation you have two lawful options:

 

1. If you sincerely believe that your husband will one day repent for his deeds and turn back to Allah in repentance, you may choose to accept your present condition with patience and thus save your marriage.  But as long as you choose to remain married, the guidance of Islam commands that you must fear Allah and fulfill all your rights towards your husband in full, seeking your reward and justice from none save Allah Subhanah, regardless of whether or not he fulfills his rights towards you.
2. But if you fear and believe that your husband will continue his transgression of the boundaries of Allah Subhanah and has absolutely no inclination towards repentance, it would be best for you to initiate a divorce proceeding and seek permanent separation from such an evil person.

 

But having an indefinite separation from one’s husband (or wife) after the two have been united in the sacred bond of marriage by Allah is neither righteousness, nor piety, nor an acceptable act in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan