Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

my father have said to my mother that i will give you a divorce twice( is that a greatest sin or something like thaT OR THIS MEANS HE HAS DIVORCED MY MOTHER and when my mother said plz dont aruge on small small things he called me and said if you want to live or else go earn yourself THEY ALWAYS FIGHT CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT I MUST DO ACCORDING TO ISLAM ( I NEED SOME DETAILS ABOUT THIS ) 

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Parent intend to divorce

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2173  Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Of all the lawful acts’ the most detestable to Allah is divorce.’

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2172  Narrated by Muharib

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Allah did not make anything lawful more abominable to Him than divorce.’

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2189  Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘There are three things which, whether undertaken seriously or in jest, are treated as serious: Marriage, divorce and taking back a wife (after a divorce which is not final).’

 

Your Question: my father have said to my mother that i will give you a divorce twice( is that a greatest sin or something like thaT OR THIS MEANS HE HAS DIVORCED MY MOTHER

Beloved Brother in Islam, unless and until the husband properly declares divorce on his wife by saying ‘I divorce you’, or the appointed Judge in a Court of Shariah Law divorces the couple; a mere intent of divorce of the husband who says ‘I will divorce you’ to his wife will not constitute a divorce in the sight of Islamic Law.

 

But if your father has specifically declared to his wife: ‘I divorce you’, then it would indeed constitute a divorce in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah.

 

Your Question: THEY ALWAYS FIGHT CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT I MUST DO ACCORDING TO

ISLAM

There is absolutely no doubt that a fight between one’s parents is absolutely heart-wrenching for a child, but the child does not have a right to enter the fight or take sides, or ever to physically or verbally engage himself in a fight between his parents.  If the child has reached the age of understanding and puberty, the most he/she could do is practice absolute wisdom and try to humbly talk to the one who is abusive and oppressive and instill the fear of Allah into them, and also guide the one who is being oppressed and abused towards patience. 

 

But under no circumstances should the child ever do anything or use terms that would be disrespectful or discourteous towards either of his parents.  In such trying and unfortunate circumstances, what the child can and must do is remain constant in his supplication to the Lord Most Merciful and beg Him to have mercy on his parents.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone!  Treat your parents with great kindness;  if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them;  nor rebuke them;  but speak to them kind words.  Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord,  be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan