I have had ten years of a difficult marriage with a very stubborn and independent `Arab wife, constant fighting and arguing, and numerous incidents involving the police

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I have had ten years of a difficult marriage with a very stubborn and independent `Arab wife, constant fighting and arguing, and numerous incidents involving the police. During our most recent argument, I was driven to the point of slapping her face. It had never happened before. I also poured my fruit-juice on her.

I told her I wanted to divorce, and she has agreed by filing with the American court. I have repeatedly asked her to come to the masjid and settle our divorce with the Imam. We have many masajid and a few `ulema in our area. I have also had a well-known Imam in the US speak with her on the same subject.

She refuses, saying that the Imam will not give her what she wants.

In the divorce filing, she has accused me of adultery, which never happened. She has accused me of repeated abuse, which never happened. She is asking for the entirety of my wealth. I have been blocked from my home, which is also where I work, for the last 6 weeks. I have also only been allowed to see my daughters, one of whom has Leukemia, for 2 hours in the same 6 week period.

My question is, what is the status of this woman? I have read that her act is one of kufr. If so, is she also murtaad? If so, what is the recommended way of dealing with her? It is obvious that I have to continue with the court proceedings, or else I may lose everything. How aggressively should I fight her in the court?

Sincerely and Respectfully Yours,


(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)




Divorce a woman in US

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Beloved brother, regardless of the unfortunate situation of the state of your marriage, because you live in a nation which does not honor Shariah law, there are two issues regarding the laws of divorce:

  1. The Shariah Issue
  2.  The issue of the law of the land you reside.


Regardless of where a believer lives or resides, it is absolutely obligatory upon them to refer every aspect of their lives to Shariah law.  If any party denies or rejects to implement Shariah law in any aspect of their life or in their disputes amongst each other, and instead seeks a decision from the ignorant un-godly man-made laws of the land so that they may get some advantage….they shall indeed be held severely accountable for their manifest act of hypocrisy in the Presence of the Majestic and Supreme Lord on an Inevitable Day.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 60-61:

60      Hast thou not turned thy vision to those who declare that they believe in the Revelations that have come to thee and to those before thee? Their (real) wish is to resort together for judgment (in their disputes) to the Evil One though they were ordered to reject him. But the Shaytaan's wish is to lead them astray far away (from the Right).

61      When it is said to them: "Come to what Allah hath revealed and to the Messenger (seeking a solution to you disputes)": you will see the Hypocrites avert their faces from thee in disgust!


Beloved brother, because you have chosen to live in an Un-Islamic State, and your wife refuses to settle the divorce case through Shariah Law with your local imam but wishes to take her divorce case to the courts of the land….it is obvious you will have to settle the dispute with her in the court of the land.


Regardless of the attitude and unjust demands of your wife, you as a believer must at all times fear Allah and even in the courts of the land say and do only what is right and akin to justice; and even if the courts of the land were to grant you more than you rightfully deserve, you should accept only what is lawful for you according to Shariah Law.  


Your Question: How aggressively should I fight her in the court?

Beloved brother, you may fight as aggressively as you wish if your lawful rights are being usurped; but if you chose to forgive and be generous, then know with conviction that the Real Justice will be served by the Majestic and Supreme Judge on that Inevitable Day of Justice in the Hereafter.


Beloved brother, we reiterate again, that regardless of however unjust the demands and accusations of your wife, you as a believer in Allah and the Last Day fear Allah and say and do only what is akin to piety, righteousness and justice in the Sight of Allah.  Just because one party has laid unjust demands and accusations does not give a believer a right to make unjust demands or false accusations in retaliation; but the believer must at all times fear Allah, and do only what is akin to piety and righteousness.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,






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