Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Aslam Walikum,

 

My name is .I live in United States. I worked for a company for 5 years. Yesterday I announced that i was going to quit and join college again. So they threw me a farewelll party. I never go to any clubs or parties. I only go to family gathering in our community. I went to this one because it was for me. It would`nt look nice if someone went through so much and I would`nt show up. It was a small party with 5 girls and 6 kids. There was alchohl, there were cigretts & ther was weed to smoke. I did not drink or smoke anything. We were just singing and playing with the kids at the pool. My mom called me at 1:00 oclock asking when I will come home i said we will leave in 1/2 an hour. We left in 1/2 an hour. 4 of my friends and their kids came in the same car, thats because shannon`s house (the host) was far away. Patty droped everyone home. I got home at 3:07 am. When i can home my brother was telling me that my dad was shouting and screaming at my mom and brother, yelling that there was no party i was having making out with a guy. My dad has also acused his brother of having an affair with (my uncles) sister in law, he also thinks my aunt(my moms sister) does black Magic on my mom. Now he is blaming his own daughter!! Allah is my witness I did not and have not EVER had sex. I hate him for saying all this rumars about me to my mom and brother. I believe I am a good muslim... I wish he could see that too. What should I do. I feel betrayed. How can i make him trust me. What does Quran say about the cruel fathers. I hate him. Even if I try to explain him, he shouts and screams. help me please!!! i dunno what to do. I am trapped.

 

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Answer:

 

Girl father relation

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.116         Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar

The Prophet (saws) said, "Everyone of you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for his wards). A ruler is a guardian and is responsible(for his subjects); a man is a guardian of his family and responsible (for them); a wife is a guardian of her husband's house and she is responsible (for it), a slave is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible (for that). Beware! All of you are guardians and are responsible (for your wards)."

 

Dear and beloved sister in Islam, if only you could put yourself in your parents shoes for a moment, you would realize that their concern for your well-being, your safety, your honor, your life, your future, and your reputation is beyond anyone can imagine!  The concern of your father is absolutely normal and natural, and any righteous and caring father would imagine and fear the worst for his little princess whom he has so loved, cared, and cherished for selflessly all their life.

 

As concerned as your father was for your well-being and safety, he should fear Allah, and control himself when in anger; for any accusation without strong proof or evidence is unwarranted in the Sight of Shariah.  Beloved Sister in Islam, any righteous parent or guardian of a girl who returns home at 3:07am, even if it was only once in their lifetime, should be a cause of severe and serious concern for them.  Thus even as much as one may not be able to condone your fathers anger and accusations, if you could only try to understand and comprehend his love and his fear of your safety, you would have more appreciation for his concern for you.

 

Dear and beloved sister, the next time you wish to stay out so late all you need to do is make sure you take your father’s permission, take your mother, sister, or brother with you, and inform your father exactly where you are and when you expect to be back; and such unpleasant incidents that occurred later can be avoided.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

 

Burhan