Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

MY WIFE IS FROM INDIA AND I AM FROM BANGLADESH AND WE BOTH ARE MUSLIMS AND WE GOT MARRIED IN THE DUBAI COURT ON JAN 26TH 2004 AND BOTH OUR PARENTS ALSO RESIDES IN DUBAI. WE KNOW EACH OTHER SINCE 10 YRS AND I GOT MARRIED TO HER I HAD ASKED HER TO GIVE ME ONE YEAR AND SIX MONTHS TIME TO BE MORE FINANCIAL STRONG AND THEN I WOULD BRING HER TO MY HOUSE. BUT SINCE THIS YEAR APRIL WE ARE HAVING PROBLEMS AND SHE IS ASKING FOR A DIVORCE AND I HAD ASKED HER THAT I AM ABLE TO PROVIDE YOU WITH ALL THE FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE AND ETC (LIKE SPERATE HOUSE). AND YES WE HAVE SLEPT TOGETHER BUT SINCE LAST 2 MONTHS SHE IS KEEPING HER DISTANCE FROM ME. I DONT WANT TO GIVE HER THE DIVORCE BECAUSE I LOVE HER ALOT. SO HOW CAN YOU HELP ME. SO SHOULD I GIVE HER THE DIVORCE OR SHE SHOULD FILE A CASE IN THE COURT FOR KHULA. HER PROBLEM IS SHE SAYS SHE DOES NOT LOVES ME ANYMORE AND OUR PARENTS ARE ALSO NOT GETTING ALONG ANYMORE AND SHE CANNOT BE SINCERE TO ME AND HER FATHER ALSO LOST THE JOB 2 DAYS BACK AND THEY ARE TWO DAUGHTERS AND HER SISTER TOLD ME THAT ONCE SHE GETS SEPERATED THEY WILL GO BACK TO INDIA FOR GOOD.

THAT’S IT, WHATS UR ADVICE ?

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Women seeks divorce

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Question: I DONT WANT TO GIVE HER THE DIVORCE BECAUSE I LOVE HER ALOT. SO HOW CAN YOU HELP ME

Dear and Beloved brother, as much as one may love their spouse, one must accept the inevitable that it takes two people to maintain a marriage.

 

If it is possible for you to address her lawful concerns which has instigated her to take such a drastic step and decision to end the marriage, then it would be best if you would try to convince your wife and take steps to address those issues, and thus save your marriage.   

 

Your Question: SO SHOULD I GIVE HER THE DIVORCE OR SHE SHOULD FILE A CASE IN THE COURT FOR KHULA. HER PROBLEM IS SHE SAYS SHE DOES NOT LOVES ME ANYMORE

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2173  Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Of all the lawful acts’ the most detestable to Allah is divorce.’

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2172  Narrated by Muharib

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Allah did not make anything lawful more abominable to Him than divorce.’

 

Beloved brother, as much as divorce is absolutely detestable to Allah Subhanah, if you are absolutely convinced that your wife no longer loves you, and nothing you say or do will change the mind or decision your wife has taken to end the marriage, then instead of dragging the case in court where there is a possibility of accusations and blame being exchanged back and forth, it would be best if you accede to the request of your wife to divorce her and grant her the freedom she seeks.  Islam guides that just as two believers at one time united themselves in the sacred bond of marriage in love, mercy, and generosity…….if Allah forbid, the two for any reason were to decide to end their marriage in divorce, they should separate with mercy, generosity, and benevolence.

 

If the wife has initiated, without a very strong reason to end the marriage through divorce, regardless of how the divorce ultimately takes place, (either the husband pronounces the divorce at the request of his wife, or the court declares a ‘khula’), she shall bear the burden and responsibility of her decision in the Court of Allah Subhanah.

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2218  Narrated by Thawban

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, (even) the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her!’

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

 

Burhan