Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamu Alaikum,
I have been married to my husband for eleven years and for the past two years we have been having marital problems.From that time i have been in and out of the marraige since then.Although there is has been no divorce between us I have asked him for my divorce saveral times but he has refused to give it to me.I have already reach a stage in the marraige where i feel i cannot be faithfull to him even if i decide to stay.I want to get out of this marraige. What do i need to do and as a woman how do i persue him to give me my divorce letter. 

 

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Khula wife seeks divorce

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 128-130:

128    If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed.  But if ye do good and practice self-restraint Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.

129    Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from a woman) altogether so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air).  If ye come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

130    But if they disagree (and must part through divorce) Allah will provide abundance for all from His all-reaching bounty: for Allah is He that careth for all and is Wise.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 229-231:

229    A divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness.  It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives) except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah.  If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them.  If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).

230    So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably) he cannot after that remarry her until after she has married another husband and he has divorced her.  In that case there is no blame on either of them if they reunite provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah.  Such are the limits ordained by Allah which He makes plain to those who understand.

231    When ye divorce women and they fulfil the term of their (`Iddat) either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms; but do not take them back to injure them or to take undue advantage; if anyone does that He wrongs his own soul.  Do not treat Allah's Signs as a jest but solemnly rehearse Allah's favors on you and the fact that He sent down to you the Book and Wisdom for your instruction.  And fear Allah and know that Allah is well acquainted with all things.

 

When a divorce is initiated by the wife in a marriage, it is known in Fiqh or Islamic Jurisprudence terms as a ‘Khula’ divorce. 

 

There are basically three ways for a wife to seek a divorce:

Ask her husband that she no longer wishes to remain his wife, and the husband accedes to her request and pronounces a divorce on her.

If the husband refuses to divorce her, she has the right to Initiate a divorce proceedings in a Shariah Court, whereby the Judge will study the conditions and reasons for seeking divorce, and then summon the husband and give him an option: either he accedes to the wife’s divorce request and pronounces divorce on her, or the Court will use its authority and divorce the couple.

If the husband does not pronounce the divorce and the Judge sees valid reason for divorce, he has the authority to divorce the couple.

 

If it is the woman who initiates the divorce or ‘khula’ in marriage, she will be required to repay the husband back the ‘mehr’ he paid her at the time of ‘nikaah’, unless of course the husband, of his own will, wishes to let his wife keep the ‘mehr’ he paid her.  But if the husband initiates the divorce, it is absolutely forbidden for him to demand any payment or recompense of the ‘mehr’ or any other gifts he might have given his wife during their marriage.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your Brother in Islam,

 

 

Burhan