Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother Burhan,
May Almighty Allah reward you for your work.

My brother-in-law`s (BIL) (wife`s brother) marriage is in trouble, (Marriage is 2 year old, they now have a baby 8 mnths old). I have been married for almost eight years in this family and I know that they are very nice and simple people, Now the girl who has got married to him (BIL) complains of his ill treatment and is not willing to stay with him, she has gone to her parents home. we do not understand why she is doing that, her parents and other members of her family are supporting her blindly. The boy (BIL) says he has done nothing and he has tried all his best to keep her happy, he says her parents are complaining that he does not visit their house more often and not take them out, the boy is busy with his business from morning to evening in his shop which he manages alone with a couple of salesmen. Now that he has a daughter he does not want to give talaq to her and at the same time the girl does not want to stay with him. The girls family does not say that they want talaq at the same time they keep a lot of mental pressure on the poor guy. I think, I am sure he is innocent, however Almighty Allah is all knowing. What does Islam has to say about a relationship where the Husband and Wife do not meet each other though they are married. Do you think it is better they opt for talaq. The boy has compromised and went to bring her back once in the past too, now seems like the girl is bent on not coming back. Please advise. 

 

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Answer:

 

Seeking divorce

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Question: What does Islam has to say about a relationship where the Husband and Wife do not meet each other though they are married.

Once two people have chosen to be united in the sacred bond on marriage, it does not behove and befit the believers, who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day, to remain separate from each other permanently.  Either they bury their differences and come to an amicable settlement between each other and give each other their due rights in marriage, or seek separation by divorce.  But under no circumstances are they permitted to remain separate from each other permanently after they have chosen to be united in the sacred bond of marriage.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 128-130:

128    If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed.  But if ye do good and practice self-restraint Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.

129    Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from a woman) altogether so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air).  If ye come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

130    But if they disagree (and must part) Allah will provide abundance for all from His all-reaching bounty: for Allah is He that careth for all and is Wise.

 

Your Question: The boy has compromised and went to bring her back once in the past too, now seems like the girl is bent on not coming back. Please advise. 

Islam has recognized that a human being is not an animal who can be tied down against their will, and for those who do not wish to continue their relationship in marriage, Islam has opened a legal door of separation through the system of divorce.  If the sister has made up her mind for whatever reason to seek a separation through divorce, and there is absolutely no hope of her changing her mind, there is not much one can do.  In such situations it would be best if the husband would accept her decision and pronounce a divorce on her, and thus free each other from the bond of marriage so that they may continue their life in freedom and peace. 

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your Brother in Islam,

 

 

Burhan