I have been meeting a man for a year, we both love each other very much and wish to get married
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Asalam wa alikum brother, I have a question
for you. Please can you answer this for me? I am a single girl looking to get
married. I have been meeting a man for a year, we both love each other very
much and wish to get married. But when we meet we engage in illegal acts which
are not permitted in Islam. I know i shouldnt but i cant stop myself and then i
feel really guilty.
However, he cannot support me yet as he is studying and yet to make a future to
support us. I am willing to wait for him. It will take about two years. I cant
tell my parents yet as they will not accept him as he is not yet established.
What shall i do? wait or leave him? I dont want to loose him but i feel that if
I carry on the way I am the he will be taken away from me as a punishment.
Please help me bhaijaan. I dont want to do wrong but i need this person in my
life. I dont think i can be happy with anyone else. I will await your reply, as
long as it takes. Allahafiz.
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errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
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Answer:
Girl loves boy
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is no one (no idol, no person, no
grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai,
nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, Allah Subhanah has
permitted the believing men and the believing woman to choose who they wish to
marry; and regardless of how much one loves a person or thinks that life would
be unlivable and unbearable without their true love, the believers are bound by
their covenant to their Lord to live within His stipulated boundaries, if
indeed they fear Allah and the Last Day.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah
Maidah verse 5: This day are (all) things good and pure
made lawful unto you. The food of the
People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste
women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed
before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity,
not lewdness nor secret intrigues.
If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he
will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).
Allah Subhanah has made it absolutely impermissible for
the believers to have a lewd, illicit, or secret relationship with a non-mehram
member of the opposite sex. My dear and
beloved sister in Islam, fear the Day when each individual will be called upon
in the Majestic Presence of their Lord to give a full accounting of their
deeds. Regardless of whatever you might have done in the past, immediately turn
to your Lord Most Merciful, seek sincere repentance and stop this illicit
relationship; it is expected that you will find your Lord Oft Forgiving, Most
Merciful.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah
Zumur verses 53-54: (O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own
souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy!
Surely, Allah forgives all
sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before
the scourge overtakes you; for then you
may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale
Imraan verse 135-136: Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong
their own soul by the commission of a sin,
remember Allah instantly, and ask
for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who,
but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly
persist in the wrongs they did. These
will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah,
and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do
good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah
Anaam verse 54: When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule
of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil
in ignorance, and thereafter repented
and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Your Question: What shall i do? wait or leave him?
Dear and beloved Sister, either ask the one you wish to
marry to approach your parents and honorably seek your hand in marriage, or
leave you alone in honor. If the brother
sincerely loves you and has the same feelings for you as you have for him, he
would honor your honor and do the honorable thing.
To engage in an illicit relationship and desecrate the
honor of the woman who loves the person sincerely and wishes to marry him is a
clear violation of the commands and boundaries of Allah Subhanah. If the brother fears Allah, and loves you as much
as you love him, then he would do the honorable thing and approach your parents
and seek your hand in marriage from them.
If the brother refuses to do that, or gives excuses that
he is currently not in a position to do that, or delays the matter everytime
you insist….then it is evident that his intentions are not as honorable as they
seem to be. Allah forbid, if he were to
take what he desires, desecrate your honor, and one fine day walk out on you on
any feeble excuse, you would have to live with that dishonor for the rest of
your life!
Your Statement: I dont want to loose him but i feel that
if I carry on the way I am the he will be taken away from me as a punishment.
Please help me bhaijaan. I dont want to do wrong but i need this person in my
life. I dont think i can be happy with anyone else.
Beloved Sister, if you sincerely do not want to lose the
person you love, insist that he do the honorable thing and immediately seek
your hand in marriage from your parents.
Allah is our witness, we receive so many letters from sisters all over
the world who fell in love with a man who promised them marriage at a later
date, only to walk out on her after he had fulfilled his desire with her!
My dear and beloved sister in Islam, as your brothers and
sincere well-wishers in faith, we implore you to fear Allah, and stop this
illicit relationship with the brother immediately unless and until the two of
you are united in the sacred bond of marriage with the approval of your parents
and guardians.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,
Burhan