Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

According to Islam... is a woman allowed to divorce her husband after nearly 3 years of living a seperate  life? At the time of seperation the man in an argument stated divorce once, but has not agreed to divorce since. But the  woman does not wish to go back to him and wishes to divorce him.

 

Also, if the womans parents do not support the divorce and wish for their daughter to return to her husband, but the woman  does not wish to do that. Is she wrong? 

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Divorce and separation for 3 years

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Questions: At the time of seperation the man in an argument stated divorce once, but has not agreed to divorce since.

If at any time the husband specifically verbally pronounced the words, ‘I divorce you’ to his wife, then it will be deemed as a Shariah divorce in Islam.  The wife has to wait three menses periods as the ‘idda’ or waiting period after the pronouncement of divorce; and if the husband does not take her back or does not conjugate with her during that ‘idda’ period of three menses periods, the divorce will be established and the couple will not remain a husband and a wife any longer.  The couple have to separate and they are free to marry anyone of their choice.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 229-230:

229    A divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness.  It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives) except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah.  If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them.  If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).

230    So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably) he cannot after that remarry her until after she has married another husband and he has divorced her.  In that case there is no blame on either of them if they reunite provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah.  Such are the limits ordained by Allah which He makes plain to those who understand.

 

If the period of ‘idda’ has elapsed and the couple wish to remarry each other; then a new Nikaah with a new Mehr has to be performed.  Islam has permitted the husband to exercise this divorce and remarry option twice in one marriage; and if the husband divorces his wife for a third time it will be considered a final and irrevocable divorce between the couple and they cannot remarry until the woman, of her own choice and will, marries someone else. 

 

Your Question: But the  woman does not wish to go back to him and wishes to divorce him.

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, if your husband has verbally and specifically pronounced the words ‘I divorce you’ at the time of argument, and assuming he has neither taken you back as his wife nor conjugated with you during the ‘idda’ period; the divorce is already established between you and your husband.  You now have the option to remarry him by performing a brand new Nikaah with a new Mehr; or you are free to marry anyone else of your choice. 

 

Your Question: Also, if the womans parents do not support the divorce and wish for their daughter to return to her husband, but the woman  does not wish to do that. Is she wrong? 

It is only natural for the women’s parents to see their daughter married, and their wish and desire for the women to return back to her husband is understandable.  It is the duty of the child in Islam to give considerable weight and importance to any desire of their parents.

 

But since you are already divorced and separated now for three years, you can only remarry your ex-husband if he proposes again and you have the option to either accept his new proposal or reject it.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your Brother in Islam,

 

 

Burhan