Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I am married for 5yrs now. In these 5yrs, I had to support myself and my husband, until I learnt that it is his responsibility to support me. He has beaten me, shot at me and beat me over my dad taking a photo of my son.

I am not happy in this marriage, as I have compromised alot. He does not want to sleep with me unless I force him to, always in a bad mood, wants things his way, says that I should support the household after going to a Moulana who told him that it is his duty to support me.

I am currently 6 months pregnant and the other day I had pain and he did not want to help me, and I started crying, he just looked at me. The next day I asked him why did he just leave me like that and he said his back was sore.

I asked him is he going to be reliable enough to take me to hospital and he says I should make other arrangements.

Also, I almost lost my son the same way, I was in pain and he told me I am overreacting and did not want to take me to hospital. The next morning I went at 10 O`clock for a checkup and had to deliver my baby at 12 O`clock.

Also I had pains in my stomach and had to rush to hospital and it was a false alarm, but when I came back, he wanted to go to movies,

And also my husband doesnt go to mosque anytime in a hurry, he once told me he is afraid to come home and find another man there.

I feel I need to divorce him, because he just makes me miserable. I look forward when he is at work and when he comes home, I feel he makes me sick.
What should I do?

We have been to the Jamiat for counselling.
Sorry for such a long letter, but I needed to explain my situation first. 

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Sister seeks divorce

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person,  no grave, no prophet,  no imam,  no dai,  nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Beloved and dear Sister in Islam, under the circumstances related by you, you have basically three options:

 

Option-1: Find an opportune moment, and with extreme patience and wisdom have a frank talk to your husband, and try to find and address the exact issues that results in his behavior.  If you feel that he is willing to accept his mistakes and has an inclination towards amending his conduct; it would be prudent to have patience and save your marriage.

 

Option-2: Be constant in your supplication to the Merciful Lord, and bear with patience the trial that your Lord has set upon you and save your marriage, seeking your reward from Him in the eternal life of the Hereafter. 

 

Option-3: If you feel that your husband is absolutely unrepentant, and there is absolutely no chance that he would amend his conduct; then you are well within your rights to seek a divorce proceedings against him; and there will be no sin upon you.

 

May Allah Subhanah make your trial easy for you, grant you patience and mercy, and guide you to make the right decision that is good for you and your family in the life of this world and the Hereafter.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your Brother in Islam,

 

 

Burhan