Divorce many times
Mu' meneen
Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's
Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalamu allaykum
Me and my husband have been having
problems since marriage but we managed to stay together, always praying hoping
things will get better and had three children. Once he wrote a divorce three
times only to come to the sheikh`s office and say that he did it to please the
first wife becuase he instructed him to divorce me. But things got worse and
being the 2nd wife he went to marry the third wife and things became worse
emotionally and financially to the extent that he could not even pay the house
for one and half years and he was not practising or treating the wives or the
kids equal. I left two times and but he convinced to come back. And several
times he wrote the talak but then he would apologise and I would go back to be
safe of his problems and abuse I came to canada to educate my children and live
here he even came with me to help settle and I took one of his sons with me. He
would always quarrel with me about his son that I mistreat him and so on,
sometimes he even wants to become violent. Recently, after several abusive
email and telephones, he wrote me an email saying that he divorce me and he did
not mention how many times is this divorce, is this divorce valid or not and if
it is how many times considering the several times previously he issued the
divorce verbally and by writing it?.
Now three months and ten 10days are
over the last time he called I told him the sheikh here said he should send
another email to revoke that which he didn`t and he said that I wanted to be
divorced now I have it he never apologized.
He has a good job but he would not send
me money every month he would send after three or four months as if these
children are not his respobility. He would always complain that he has debt to
pay is this right?.How can you marry and not be responsible for yourfamily is
this right?.
Please let me know of the answer to my
questions and please do not publish my name as this should be confidential.
Shukran.
(There
may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum
does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from
our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Answer:
In the
name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness.
Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray,
none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no
person, no grave, no prophet, no imam,
no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship
but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant
and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question:
is this divorce valid or not and if it is how many times considering the
several times previously he issued the divorce verbally and by writing it?.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Verse 229: A divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable
terms or separate with kindness. It is
not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives)
except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits
ordained by Allah. If ye (judges) do
indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah
there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom.
These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them. If any do transgress the limits ordained by
Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).
Beloved
and dear Sister in Islam, it is not entirely clear exactly how many times has
your husband divorced you! Islamic Law
only permits that the husband can divorce his wife twice and take her back as
his wife twice; if the husband divorces his wife for a third time, it will be
considered an absolutely irrevocable divorce and the couple cannot remarry
again unless and until the wife marries another man, and the new husband of his
own free will divorces her, or dies.
The
wisdom behind this two-divorces-remarriage and three-divorce-as-final laws of
Shariah are to protect the rights of the women in Islam. The man is not allowed to use the
responsibility of divorce laid upon him by Allah to harass the women, or use the divorce responsibility as a joke
or play. With this
three-divorce-is-final law, the man is
forced to take a well-thought and responsible decision before he decides to
divorce his wife. And if the man
misuses his right of divorce, and
pronounces all the three divorces at the same time, he has to bear the consequences that he will
not be able to change his mind after that,
nor remarry the woman unless she marries someone else and that person
divorces her or dies.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 231: And
when you have divorced your wives and they are about to complete their
prescribed terms, then either retain
them gracefully or release them generously.
It is transgression to retain them merely for harassment. And whoever does that indeed wrongs his own
self! Do not play with Allah’s
Commandments, and remember that
Allah has blessed you with a great favor.
He admonishes you to show due respect to the Book and the Wisdom He has
sent to you. Fear Allah and know that
He is fully aware of everything.
Beloved
sister in Islam, it is absolutely imperative that you immediately determine how
many times has your husband divorced you, either verbally, on the phone,
through email, fax, or any other form of communication. If he has divorced you twice, you still have
an option to remarry him if both of you wish to do so. But if he has already pronounced divorce
three times, then it would be considered an absolute, final, and irrevocable
divorce.
Whatever
written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance,
and whatever of error is of me. Allah
Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,
Burhan
