Husband does not allow my daughter to talk to her father

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear brohter
I need an advice. I was married to a man for 6 years and have a daughter from him. Her custody is with me since my divorce in 2008. I remarried in 2010 but my ex husband always disturbed me for legal issues and never paid financial support for my daughter and my mahr. My current husband asked me to disconnect from him completely and i obeyed. but now i have come to know about the following information:
“Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship?

Such are they whom Allaah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight”

[Muhammad 47:22, 23]

 

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No one who severs ties of kinship will enter Paradise.” Narrated by Muslim (4637).
 
My ex husband also has sent messages recently thorugh my brother that he wants to talk to her daughter. i dont want to deprive him from his right as well as my daughter's. She already is suffering because of ill attitude of my husband towards me and I am emotionally unavailable for her.
I spoke to my hsuband about it as i want to save my aakhira by not oppressing my daughtger and her father but he did not agree and said that i either have to send my daughter to her father or to take divorce to fulfill this wish. While my ex is not capable and willing to take her from me and neither me (i am working and my husband does not pay for me and for my daughter). He always taunts me for my divorce and his this response has put me in a fix as i want to save my aakhira by being an obedient wife as well as i do not want to oppress my ex husband anymore for his right to see his daughter.
 
Kindly advice me what to do to save my marriage and my aakhira too.
 
Your sister

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sister no husband will allow his wife to have cordial speaking relationship with her ex-husband. You are no longer a family member of your ex-husband after your divorce. Your family is now your present husband and that's it.
 
Regarding your daughter from your ex-husband, if you feel she is not safe or happy with you and your present husband, you are within your rights to either with the permission of your present husband allow your daughter visiting rights with her biological father or give full custody to him. Your present husband has to agree for the visiting rights, as he would not like any contact of your ex with his wife and step daughter.
 
All this should have been agreed with your present husband before marrying him. However, you should be careful not to jeopardise your marriage for your ex or your daughter. Remember you have divorced the ex and you should not keep in touch with him whatsoever. If you have to, be nice with your present husband and force him to be present when you are discussing with your ex so that he has not misconceptions.
 
Tell your ex he should have behaved himself before divorcing you. There are no more ties with him and his family. He did not worry about his daughter at the time of divorcing. You don't have to feel guilty about the hadiths as they do not apply in your case.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline

 
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