Obey parents or break relations
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa
Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be
upon all of you)
One of our
brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I am a 20 year old
boy. Should I not talk to my cousin brother because my father doesnt like him and asks me not to talk to him because of
his gruge against some of his family?
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
In the name of Allah, We praise
Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can
misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We
bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no
imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah
Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the
seal of His Messengers.
Allah has commanded the
believers to be kind, respect, honor and obey their
parents.
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:Your Lord
has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if
either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’
to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and
pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they
brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”
Allah has also commanded the
believers to never ever sever relationships which Allah has made for them; for
it is indeed a big sin if one does so.
Thus if your father does not
allow you to meet your cousin, because your cousin is an evil person and has a
bad character, which will harm you and/or take you away from the Path of Allah;
then it is your duty to obey your father and distance yourself from your cousin
if you cannot convince your cousin to straighten himself. But under no circumstances are you to break
the relationships which Allah has made for you, for it is
indeed a grave sin in the sight of Allah.
But if your cousin is a good and
righteous person, and the only reason your father commands you to break
relations with him is because of some personal grudge, then it is not
right. You must try to convince your
father and your cousin to patch their differences and solve their issues in an
amicable way.
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 49 Surah Hujaraat verses 10:The believers
are the brothers of one another; so set the relations right between your
brethren and fear Allah. It is expected
that you will be shown Mercy.
But even after all your tries
and efforts, you are not able to convince your father to allow you to keep
relations with your cousin; you are not allowed to ever break relationships
which Allah has made for you, for that is indeed a grave sin in the sight of
Allah Subhanah.
The Messenger of
Allah said, “One cannot disobey the command of the Creator on the orders of a
created being.”
Whatever written of Truth and
benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error
is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He
is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,