Relationship with a Non-Muslim
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa
Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be
upon all of you)
One of our
brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Brother, I have a relation
with a non muslim girl, I am in a great delima as what to do, I cannt
leave her as i will be cheating on her and cannot
marry her as it is against Islam and my parents are also against. What should I
do, what quran says? How can I purify myself ?
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
In the name of Allah, We praise
Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none
can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright.
We bear witness that there is no one (no idol,
no person, no grave, no
prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone,
and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of
His Messengers.
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:Do not even go near
‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very
indecent thing and a very evil way!
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verse 2:The woman and the man
guilty of ‘zina’ (fornication), flog each one of them
with a hundred stripes, and let not pity for them restrain you in regard to a
matter prescribed by Allah; if indeed you believe in Allah and the Last
Day! And let a section of the
believers witness the punishment inflicted on them.
Other than marriage, Islam
absolutely prohibits having a ‘relation’ with a non-mehram
girl. It is a grave sin in the sight of
Allah Subhanah!
Your Statement: I am in a great delima as what to do, I cannt
leave her as i will be cheating on her and cannot
marry her as it is against Islam and my parents are also against.
The first and foremost thing
that you should do is stop having any ‘relation’ with this woman, if indeed you
fear standing in the Court of Allah Subhanah on an
Inevitable Day! If you can convince
the woman to accept Islam, there is nothing stopping you from marrying
her. And if your parents are against
the idea of your marriage with her, then you can humbly explain your dilemna to them and try to convince them politely.
Whatever you do brother, you
must immediately legalize this relationship with the girl; or leave her
alone! Whatever pain or sorrow it might
cause you if you are left with no option but to leave the girl; we assure you
that it is absolutely uncomparable to the pain,
sorrow and torment that will be meted out to the fornicators in the
Hereafter! You must either legalize
this relation with a proper Islamic marriage, or leave the girl.
Your Question: How can I purify myself ?
It is the Mercy and Grace of our
Merciful Lord that He has kept the door of Taubah and
repentance open for those who have sinned.
Allah Subhanah forgives all sins, provided one
turns to him in sincere Taubah before his appointment
of death approaches him; feels ashamed and sorry for the act he has committed;
makes a solemn pact with Allah Subhanah that he would
not turn to the road of sin again; and does righteous good deeds in accordance
with the guidance of the Quran and Sunnah. For such
people, Allah has promised His Mercy and Forgiveness. For the ones who do sincere Taubah, Allah removes and forgives all sins.
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:(O Prophet)
say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s
Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives
all sins. He indeed is the
All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return
to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you
may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:Allah likes such good people very
much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the
commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness
from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not
knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they
will reside therein forever! How
excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:The (true)
servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently
towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And those) who pass their nights in
prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord,
save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting
place”. (And those)
who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden
mean between the two extremes.
(And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul
unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit ‘zina’
(fornication and adultery)… He who does this shall be punished for
his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he
shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE
REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds
into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous
deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!
Whatever written of Truth and
benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error
is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He
is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,
