Talk less
Mu' meneen Brothers
and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa
Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon
all of you)
One of our
brothers/sisters has asked this question:
dear
sir,
assala valekum
allah will long
your life i read your mail thanks to answer it i got it.thanking
u as i have mentioned to u that i have some personal problem i am discussing
below I HOPE U WILL ANSWER IT POSITIVELY
DEAR SIR
I STUDING IN
T.Y.OF B.COM, I AM VERY SHAMFUL AND SHY BASHFUL I THINK IT THE SERIOUS PROBLEM
FOR ME.IT IS VERY HARASSFUL FOR ME SO I TAKE YOUR HELP.MY PARENTS SAID ME TO
TALK MORE BUT, IT CAN'T HAPPEN I FEEL SHAME WHILE SOME TOPIC DISCUSSING IN OUR
HOUSE "GENERAL TOPIC" BETWEEN RELATIVES AND FRIENDS THOUGH I KNOW
LESS OR MORE ABOUT IT OR NOT.. IT ALSO AFECT IN MY FIELD OF MRKTG. I DO'T
EXPRESS IT THAT IS FEAR I FEEL NERVOUS WHILE I TALKED WITH NEW PERSONS
RELATIVES NEIGHBOURS. SOME BAD WORLD WILL SPOKEN OR THEY LAUGHED AT ME THIS
FEAR COMES FIRST OR SOMETIMES MY MIN
SAYS DON'T SPEAK.SOMETIMES I LOST MANY THINGS AND BE IN FUTURE.THOUGH
IAM HARDWORKING,PUNCTUAL,SINCERE/ LESS
SPEAKINGNESS AND SHAMEFULNESS IS WASHED MY GOOD POINT ALSO AS BELOW.FRIENDS
RELATIVES KEEP LESS RELATIONS WIHT ME THEY DO'T TALK TO ME AND MAKE MYSELF AS
THE THING OF FUNI CANNOT SAY NYTHING TO
THEM MY HANDS LEAPS LEGS IS SHIVING SO THEY TOLD ME MISERLY RESERVED SO I FACE
PROBLE IN MY LIFE I FACE THE PROBLEM WITH MY BOSS ALSO IN MY JOB AS WELL AS IN
MY STUDENT CAREER I CAN'T ASKED QUESTIONS THOUGH I HAVE SOME DIFFICULTIES.
I TOLD NOTHER PERSON TO SOLVE THAT BUT HE SAID THAT IT IS
DUE OT NOURSHING (PALNA POSNA)OF MY PARENTS.SOMETIMES IN SOME CASES THIS LESS
SPEAKING HELPS BUT,THE CASES ARE LIMITED. PLEASE MAIL MEAS QUICK AS POSSIBLE SO
I CAN SOLVE THIS PROBLEM ADN IMPROVE MY LIFE.
THANKING YOU,
SEASON'S GREETINGS
YOUR'S SINCEARLY,
.........................KHUDA
HAFIZ................
(There may be some grammatical and spelling
errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
In the name of Allah, We praise
Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none
can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright.
We bear witness that there is no one (no idol,
no person, no grave, no
prophet, no imam, no dai,
nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
My beloved brother, we are obviously
not experts at personal behavioral issues, thus all we can do is give you our
personal opinion and views in light of the Holy Quran and the Sunnah of the
Messenger (saws), Insha Allah.
Firstly, let me assure you that the qualities that
you have mentioned in yourself like hard-working, punctual, sincere and
soft-spoken are indeed qualities of a good muslim. I can understand and relate to your situation. I can imagine that you feel that the one who
talks ‘big-talk’ and has the ‘gift-of-the-gab’ in this world, seems
successful. Brother, I am assuming that you are a young man (3rd
year B. Com.), and as you grow
older, you will realize that not
everyone who talks big, is the most
honest or loved person! Yes, it sure
might seem so to you today, but as you mature in your age and your knowledge,
you will realize that most of these ‘big-talk’ is baseless and hollow.
As a muslim, our role model
should always be the Messenger of Allah (saws). We must always try to determine
and understand what was the character and habit of this great leader, and then
we must try and emulate him to the best of our ability. The Messenger of Allah (saws) himself was
a very silent person, who never spoke more than the situation warranted. He always spoke the Truth, and advised
the believers to always do the
same.
It is reported in an authentic
narration that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said while giving advise to the
believers: “Either say a good word, or keep quiet!”
Thus, what you might be thinking
is a handicap in your talking less, might be your greatest virtue! It should not matter if you are not the
center of attraction in every gathering; it should not matter if you are not
the most popular person in your friend circle; it should not matter if you are
not funny; it should not matter if you
don’t talk ‘tons of rubbish’ like the other so-called popular heroes: what matters is that you should speak the
Truth; what matters is that you should
speak only good; and what matters is
that you should always take the example of the Messenger of Allah (saws) in
everything you do. And once you do the
above, you will see that you will develop a lot of inner confidence, that only
a true believer in Allah and the Last Day can possess. Never ever underestimate the power of
truth! And when truth is spoken as a
habit, you will soon realize that the people around you will always believe
you, respect you, trust you, and love you.
Thus, in my humble opinion, what
you might think is your handicap, is probably your biggest asset! Allah explains in the Holy Quran while using
a metaphor, that the worst sound in His sight is the braying of the
donkeys! If you have ever experienced
the sound of the braying of the donkey, you might have realized that the donkey
brays in the one same sound, in the one same volume, in the one same pitch, and
without any care! This simile is used
by Allah to explain the dislike of Allah for the one who speaks just for the
sake of speaking; and speaks nonsense and lies to get the upper hand; and keeps
on speaking without a care of the situation.
Allah says this is the worst speech in His Sight.
It is said in a famous proverb,
that two things, once they leave their places of origin, cannot be taken back: (1) the arrow that leaves the bow, and (2)
the word that leaves the tongue.
Blessed are the ones who are careful with their tongue, and always speak
the Truth; for they will not be held accountable in the Court of Allah for
speaking lies, due to the careful use of their tongue!
It is reported in an authentic
narration that the Messenger of Allah said: “You give me a guarantee for (the
control of) two things in your possession, and I will guarantee you
Paradise.” And when asked by the believers
what were these two things, the Prophet (saws) replied, “The thing between your
thighs (ie. your private parts), and the thing between your jaws (ie. your
tongue.)”
This is how important careful
and truthful speech is in Islam!
Thus brother, I personally think
that the qualities that you possess are indeed your strengths, and the biggest
asset amongst them in your careful use of speech. If someone is not happy with
your these qualities, then its their problem, not yours! What you need to do is seek more and more
knowledge and always speak the Truth!
The confidence that will, Insha Allah, arrive from this, can never be
defeated.
May Allah increase your
knowledge in the Truth, and guide you and us all to the Straight Path.
Whatever written of
Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever
of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows
Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in
Islam,
