She avoids yawning in a gathering as much as she can - The Ideal Muslimah

The Muslim Woman and Her Community / Society

She respects elders and distinguished people

Islam brought a host of fine social rules which instil an attitude of chivalry, nobility, good manners and politeness in the heart of the Muslim. One of the most prominent of these teachings is to give due respect to elders and those who are deserving of respect (such as scholars, etc.)

The Muslim woman who is truly guided by Islam does not neglect to follow this most essential, basic Islamic ruling, which gives the Muslim woman her genuine identity in the Islamic society. Whoever lacks this quality forfeits his or her membership in this community and no longer has the honour of belonging to the ummah of Islam, as the Prophet (PBUH) stated:

"He does not belong to my ummah who does not honour our elders, show compassion to our young ones, and pay due respect to our scholars."²⁸⁰

Note: 280. Reported with a hasan isnad by Ahmad and altabarani. See Majma' al-Zawa'id, 8/14, bab tawfir al-kabir wa rahmat al-saghir.

Respect for elders and giving them priority over those who are younger, are indications of a community's or society's level of civility, of its members' understanding of the rules of human morality, and of their high level of good manners. This is just as true of women as it is of men. Hence the Prophet (PBUH) was keen to reinforce this understanding in the hearts of the Muslims, whilst he was raising the structure of the Islamic society. Among the evidence of his concern to achieve this are his words to `Abdul-Rahman ibn Sahl, who was speaking although he was the youngest member of the delegation that had come to the Prophet (PBUH). The Prophet (PBUH) told him, "Let someone who is older than you speak, let someone who is older than you speak." So Abdul-Rahman fell silent, and someone who was older than him spoke.²⁸¹

Note: 281. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 207, Bab tawfir al-'ulama' wa'l-kibar wa ahl al-fadl.

When the modern Muslim woman shows respect to a lady who is older than her, or honours a woman who is deserving of respect, she is doing a worthwhile moral duty that in fact is a part of worship, because honouring one's elders and those who are distinguished is part of glorifying Allah (SWT), as the Prophet (PBUH) said:

"Part of glorifying Allah (SWT) is honouring the grey-haired (i.e., older) Muslim, the one who has learnt the Qur'an by heart without exaggerating about it or ignoring its teachings, and honouring the just ruler."²⁸²

Note: 282. A hasan hadith narrated by Abu Dawud, 5/184, Kitab al-adab, 23.

By behaving in this way, the Muslim woman follows the command of the Prophet (PBUH) to give people their rightful positions in the Islamic society. Imam Muslim mentions this at the beginning of his Sahih, where he says:

"It was reported that `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said, `The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) ordered us to put people in their rightful positions.'"²⁸³

Note: 283. Sahih Muslim, 1/55

The Muslim woman should not forget that giving people their rightful position means recognizing their positions and giving priority to elders, scholars, those who have memorised the Qur'an, those who are wise and those who are distinguished, whether they are men or women.

She does not look into other people's houses

Another of the qualities of the well-mannered Muslim woman is that she does not look around the home of her host or seek to inspect its contents. This is not behaviour that befits the wise, decent Muslim woman; it is a hateful, undesirable attitude. The Prophet (PBUH) warned those who let their gaze wander in gatherings and try to see things that are none of their business, and he said that it was permissible to put their eyes out:

"Whoever looks into someone's home without their permission, then it is permissible for the people of the house to put their eyes out."²⁸⁴

Note: 284. Sahih Muslim, 14/138, Kitab al-adab, bab tahrim al-nazr fi bayt ghayrihi.

She avoids yawning in a gathering as much as she can

The Muslim woman who is sensitive and well-mannered does not yawn in a gathering if she can help it. If the urge to yawn overtakes her, then she tries to resist it as much as possible. This is what the Prophet (PBUH) advised:

"If any of you wantsto yawn, then let him suppress it as much as possible."²⁸⁵

Note: 285. Fath al-Bari, 10/611, Kitab al-adab, bab idha tatha'ab fa layada' yadahu 'ala fihi; Sahih Muslim, 18/123, Kitab al-zuhd, bab kirahah al-tatha'ub.

If the urge to yawn cannot be resisted, then she should cover her mouth with her hand, as the Prophet (PBUH) commanded:

"If any of you yawns, let him cover his mouth with his hand so that the Shaytan does not enter."²⁸⁶

Note: 286. Sahih Muslim, 18/122, Kitab al-zuhd, bab kirahah al-tatha'ub.

Yawning in front of others is unpleasant and off-putting. It does not befit the decent person. Therefore he or she must resist the urge to yawn, or at least cover his or her open mouth with his or her hand, so that the others present need not see it. The Prophet (PBUH) taught the Muslims, men and women, how to behave properly in a social setting so that they will not put people off or make them feel that they are bored with them and want to leave them or want them to leave. This is the way in which the polite Muslim woman who follows Islamic etiquette conducts herself.