She is easy on people, not hard - The Ideal Muslimah

The Muslim Woman and Her Community / Society

She is easy on people, not hard

The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings of Islam is easy on people, not hard, because making things easy for others is the best attitude that Allah (SWT) likes to see in His believing servants:

( . . . Allah intends every facility for you; He does not want to put you to difficulties . . . ) (Qur'an 2:185)

Therefore the Prophet (PBUH) encouraged the Muslims to be easy on people, and forbade them to make things difficult:

"Teach and make things easy, do not make them difficult. If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent."¹⁴⁸

Note: 148. Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1?342, Bab al-'afu wa'l-sufh 'an al-nas.

The woman who resorts to making things difficult and complicating matters when the teachings of Islam are so clear is a woman who is neither pious nor sound; nobody does such a thing except the one whose nature is twisted wand mean-spirited and whose education is lacking. The Muslim woman who is straightforward and is obedient to Allah (SWT) and the teachings of Islam does not like to cause difficulties or complicate matters. In this way he is following the example of the Prophet (PBUH) whom `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) described as follows:

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) was never faced with the choice between two things but he took the easier of the two, so long as it was not a sin. If it was a sin, he would be the furthest of the people from it. And the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) never took revenge for himself, but if the bounds of Allah (SWT) were transgressed, then he would take revenge for the sake of Allah (SWT)."¹⁴⁹

Note: 149. (Bukhari and Muslim), See Sharh al-sunnah, 13/260, Kitab al-fada'il, bab ikhtiyarihi aysar al-amrayn (PBUH).

The true Muslim woman adheres to the teachings of the Prophet (PBUH); she does not go beyond the limits set by him, or disobey his commands.

She is not envious

How often does the ordinary women fall into the sin of en, when she sees many of those who are inferior to her in beauty, knowledge land intelligence wallowing in riches and luxury when she does not even have the smallest part of what they enjoy? The alert, truly-guided Muslim woman, however, is saved from stumbling into such error because she has learnt, from the teachings of Islam, that everything that happens in life happens according to the will and decree of Allah (SWT). The pleasures of this life, no matter how great, are as nothing in comparison to the reward that Allah (SWT) has prepared for those believing women who are content with what Allah (SWT) has given them. The true value of a woman rests in her level of taqwa and good deeds, not in her transient worldly earnings. The more these values are reinforced in the woman's soul, the purer and more tranquil her soul becomes, and she will become one of the people of Paradise who have earned the pleasure of Allah(SWT), even if her acts are worship are few. Imam Ahmad reported, with a sahih isnad from Anas ibn Malik:

"We were sitting with the Prophet (PBUH) and he said, `One of the people of Paradise will now come to you,' and a man of the Ansar came along, his beard dripping from his wudu', and carrying his sandals in his left hand. The next day, the Prophet (PBUH) said the same thing, and the same man appeared, looking the same as he had on the previous day. On the third day, the Prophet (PBUH) again said the same thing, and the same man appeared again. When the Prophet (PBUH) left, `Abdullah ibn `Amr ibn al-`As followed the man and said, `I have fallen out with my father and sworn that I will not enter his house for three (days), and I thought that I could stay with you until the time is up.' He said, `That's fine.'" Anas said: `"Abdullah used to tell how he stayed with him for those three nights and never saw the man get up to pray at night, but when he awoke and turned over in his sleep, he would mention Allah (SWT) and say `Allahu akbar,' until he got up for salat al-fajr. `Abdullah said: `But I never heard him say anything but good. When the three days were over and I had begun to think that his deeds were nothing remarkable, I said, "O servant of Allah! There was no quarrel between me and my father, but I heard the Prophet (PBUH) say three times, `One of the people of Paradise will come to you,' and you appeared each time, so I wanted to come and stay with you to see what you did, so that I could follow your example, but I did not see you do anything out of the ordinary. What is it that has raised you to such a great status as the Prophet (PBUH) said?" The man said, "It is only what you have seen." When I turned away, he called me back and said, "It is only what you have seen, but I do not hold anything against any Muslim in my heart, and I do not envy anyone for the blessings that Allah (SWT) has bestowed on him." `Abdullah said: `This is what raised you to that great status, and this is what we could not achieve.'"¹⁵⁰

Note: 150. Musnad Ahmad, 3/166.

This hadith indicates the effects of having a heart that is free of hatred, envy, malice and treachery, and its impact on deciding a person's fate in the Hereafter, raising his status in the sight of Allah (SWT) and making his deeds acceptable, even if they are few. These effects can be clearly seen in the example of this man whose acts of worship were few, but he would enter Paradise because of the purity of his heart and the fact that people were safe from harm on his part. These effects are in direct contrast with the woman about whom the Prophet (PBUH) was asked; although she spent her nights in prayer and her days in fasting, she used to insult and mistreat her neighbours, so the Prophet (PBUH) said: "She will be in Hell."¹⁵¹

Note: 151. Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/210, Bab la yu'dhi jarahu

The person who weighs heavily in the balance of Islam (i.e., is successful) is the one whose heart is always pure and free from hatred, malice, envy and resentment, even if his acts of worship are few. A person who performs many acts of worship when his or her heart is filled with feelings of resentment, envy and hatred, is merely performing an outward, mechanical action that clearly has no solid foundation of faith. Hence it has no effect in purifying his soul of envy which the Prophet (PBUH) stated does not belong in the heart of the one who has true faith:

"Faith and envy do not go together in the heart of the believer."¹⁵²

Note: 152. Reported by Ibn Hibban in his Sahih, 10/466, Kitab al-siyar, bab fadl al-jihad.

Damurah ibn Tha`labah (RAA) said:

"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: `The people will do fine so long as they do not envy one another.'"¹⁵³

Note: 153. Reported by al Tabarani; the men of its isnad are thiqat. See Majma'al-Zawa'id, 8/78, Bab maja'a fi'l-hasad wa'l-zann.

The true Muslim woman is the one who combines proper worship with purity of heart, uncontaminated by envy, malice and hatred. In this way she may scale the heights of true taqwa and attain a high status in the sight of Allah (SWT), and also earn the love and respect of other people in this world. Thus she will become a solid brick in the structure of a pure, cohesive Muslim community that deserves to carry the message of Allah (SWT) to mankind.

She avoids boasting and seeking fame

Among the attributes of the Muslim woman who understands and follows the teachings of Islam are her humility, truthfulness and realistic approach. She does not have an attitude of superiority, self-admiration and telling lies, and she does not claim to have more than she actually has in order to show off to her friends and peers under false pretences.

She tries to avoid such unpleasant habits, because they do not befit the nature of a woman whose personality has been moulded by the principles of Islam. A woman came to the Prophet (PBUH) asking whether she would be permitted to say that her husband had given her something which he had not given her, in order to boast and show off. The Prophet (PBUH) replied:

"The one who creates a false impression of having been given something which he was not given is like the one who wears the garment of falsehood."¹⁵⁴

Note: 154. Sahih Muslim, 14/110, Kitab al-libas wa'l-zinah,, bab al-nahy 'an al-tazwir fi'l-libas wa ghayrihi..

Islam is a religion that is based on sincerity, purity, humility and realism; it abhors deception, haughtiness, arrogance, conceit and false claims. So it hates to see its followers boasting under false pretences, looking down on other, or hoarding wealth for love of fame. It sharply criticizes those who adopt such attitudes, just as it rebukes the one who wears the garment of falsehood.