The Muslim Woman and Her Community / Society
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She does not make fun of anybody
The Muslim woman whose personality has been infused with a sense of humility and resistance to pride and arrogance cannot make fun of anybody. The Qur'anic guidance which has instilled those virtues in her also protects her from scorning or despising other women:
( O you who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: it may be that the [latter] are better than the [former]: nor let some women laugh at others: it may be that the [latter] are better than the [former]: nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by [offensive] nicknames: ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, [to be used of one] after he has believed: and those who do not desist are [indeed] doing wrong.) (Qur'an 49:11)
The Muslim woman also learns the attitude of modesty and gentleness from the example of the Prophet (PBUH), so she avoids being arrogant and scorning or looking down on others when she reads the words of the Prophet (PBUH) as reported by Muslim, stating that despising her fellow Muslim women is pure evil:
"It is sufficient evil for a man to despise his Muslim brother."76
Note: 76. Sahih Muslim, 16/121, Kitab al-birr, bab tahrim zulm al-Muslim wa khadhlihi wa ihtiqarihi.
She is gentle and kind towards people
It is in the nature of women to be gentle and kind, which is more befitting to them. This is why women are known as the "fairer sex."
The Muslim woman who has truly been guided by Islam is even more kind and gentle towards the women around her, because gentleness and kindness are characteristics which Allah (SWT) loves in His believing servants and which make the one who possesses them dear to others:
( Nor can Goodness and Evil be equal. Repel [Evil] with what is better: then will he between whom and you was hatbecome as it were your friend and intimate! And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint - none but persons of the greatest good fortune.) (Qur'an 41:34-35)
Many ayat and ahadith reinforce the message that gentleness and kindness are to be encouraged and that they are noble virtues that should prevail in the Muslim community and characterize every Muslim member of that community who truly understands the guidance of Islam. It is sufficient for the Muslim woman to know that kindness is one of the attributes of Allah (SWT) that He has encouraged His servants to adopt in all their affairs.
"Allah (SWT) is Kind and loves kindness in all affairs."77
Note: 77. Bukhari and Muslim. See Riyad al-Salihin, 340, Bab al-hilm wa'l-anah wa'l-rifq.
Kindness is a tremendous virtue which Allah (SWT) rewards in a way unlike any other:
"Allah (SWT) is kind and loves kindness, and He rewards it in a way that He does not reward harshness, and in a way unlike any other."78
Note: 78. Sahih Muslim, 16/146, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah wa'l-adab, bab fadl al-rifq.
The Prophet (PBUH) praised kindness, regarding it as an adornment that beautifies and encouraging others to adopt this trait:
"There is no kindness in a thing but it makes it beautiful, and there is no absence of kindness in a thing but it makes it repugnant."79
Note: 79. Sahih Muslim, 16/146, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah wa'l-adab, bab fadl al-rifq.
The Prophet (PBUH) taught the Muslims to be kind in their dealings with people, and to behave in an exemplary manner as befits the Muslim who is calling people to the religion of Allah (SWT), the Kind and Merciful, no matter how provocative the situation.
Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said:
"A Bedouin urinated in the mosque, and the people got up to sort him out. But the Prophet (PBUH) said, `Leave him be, and throw a bucket of water over his urine, for you have been raised to be easy on people, not hard on them.'"80
Note: 80. Fath al-Bari, 1/323, Kitab al-wudu', bab sabb al-ma' 'ala'l-bul fi'l-masjid.
Kindness, gentleness and tolerance, not harshness, aggression and rebukes, are what open people's hearts to the message of truth. The Prophet (PBUH) used to advise the Muslims:
"Be cheerful, not threatening, and make things easy, not difficult."81
Note: 81. Bukhari and Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 10/67, Kitab al-imarah wa'l-qada', bab ma 'ala al-walah min al-taysir.
People are naturally put off by rudeness and harshness, but they are attracted by kindness and gentleness. Hence Allah (SWT) said to His Prophet (PBUH):
( . . . Were you severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you.) (Qur'an 3:159)
This is an eternal declaration that applies to every woman who seeks to call other women to Islam. She has to find a good way to reach their hearts, for which purpose she utilizes every means of kindness, gentleness and tact at her disposal. If she encounters any hostility or resistance, then no doubt a kind word will reach their hearts and have the desired effect on the hearts of the women she addresses. This is what Allah (SWT) told His Prophet Musa (PBUH ) and his brother Harun when He sent them to Pharaoh:
( Go, both of you, to Pharaoh, for he has indeed transgressed all bounds; but speak to him mildly; perchance he may take warning or fear [Allah].) (Qur'an 20:43-44)
Not surprisingly, kindness, according to Islam, is all goodness. Whoever attains it has been given all goodness, and whoever has been denied it has been denied all goodness. We see this in the hadith narrated by Jarir ibn `Abdullah, who said:
"I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `Whoever has been denied kindness has been denied all goodness.'"82
Note: 82. Sahih Muslim, 16/145, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah wa'l-adab, bab fadl al-rifq.
The Prophet (PBUH) explained that this goodness will be bestowed upon individuals, households and peoples when kindness prevails in their lives and is one of their foremost characteristics. We find this in the hadith of `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) in which the Prophet (PBUH) told her:
"O `A'ishah, be kind, for if Allah (SWT) wills some good to a household, He guides them to kindness."83
Note: 83. Reported by Ahmad, 6/104; the men of its isnad are rijal al-sahih.
According to another report, he (PBUH) said:
"If Allah (SWT) wills some good to a household, He instils kindness in them."84
Note: 84. Reported by Ahmad, 6/104; the men of its isnad are rijal al-sahih.
Jabir (RAA) said:
"The Prophet (PBUH) said: `If Allah (SWT) wills some good to a people, He instils kindness in them.'"85
Note: 85. Reported by al-Bazzar; the men of its isnad are rijal al-sahih. See Majma' al-Zawa'id, 8/18, bab ma ja'a fi'l-rifq.
What greater goodness can there be than a characteristic that will protect a man from Hell? As the Prophet (PBUH) said in another hadith:
"Shall I not tell you who shall be forbidden from the Fire, or from whom the Fire will be forbidden? It will be forbidden for every gentle, soft-hearted and kind person."86
Note: 86. Reported by Tirmidhi, 4/654, in Kitab siffah al-qiyamah, 45; he said it is a hasan hadith.
The teachings of the Prophet (PBUH) take man a step further, by instilling in him the attitude of kindness and requiring him to be kind even to the animals he slaughters. This is counted as one of the highest levels that the pious and righteous may reach:
"Allah (SWT) has prescribed proficiency87 in all things. Thus if you kill, kill well, and if you slaughter, slaughter well. Let each one of you sharpen his blade and let him spare suffering to the animal he slaughters."88
Note: 87. The word translated here as proficiency is ihsan, which also has connotations of doing well, decency, etc. [Translator]
Note: 88. Sahih Muslim, 13/106, Kitab al-sayd, bab al-amr bi ihsan al-dhabh.
Kindness to dumb animals that are to be slaughtered is indicative of the kindness of the man who slaughters them, and of his mercy towards all living creatures. The more a person understands this and treats all living creatures well, the more kind and gentle a person he is. This is the ultimate goal towards which Islam is guiding the Muslim, so that he is kind even to animals.
The true Muslim woman can imagine the comprehensiveness of the Islamic teachings enjoining kindness upon the sons of Adam, when even animals are included.
She is compassionate and merciful
The Muslim woman who truly understands the teachings of Islam is compassionate and merciful, for she understands that the compassion of people on earth will cause the mercy of heaven to be showered upon them. She knows that the one who does not show compassion towards others will not receive the mercy of Allah (SWT), and that the mercy of Allah (SWT) is not withheld except from the one who is lost and doomed, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Have compassion on those who are on earth so that the One Who is in heaven will have mercy on you."89
Note: 89. Reported by al-Tabarani; the men of its isnad are rijal al-sahih. See Majma' al-Zawa'id, 8/187, Bab rahmat al-nas.
"Whoever shoes not show compassion to people, Allah (SWT) will not show mercy to him."90
Note: 90. Reported with a hasan isnad by al-Tabarani. See Majma' al-Zawa'id, 8/187, Bab rahmat al-nas.
"Compassion is not taken away except from the one who is doomed."91
Note: 91. Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/466, Bab irham man fi'l-ard.
The true Muslim woman does not limit her compassion only to her family, children, relatives and friends, but she extends it to include all people. This is in accordance with the teachings of the Prophet (PBUH), which include all people and make compassion a condition of faith:
"You will not believe until you have compassion towards one another." They said, "O Messenger of Allah, all of us are compassionate." He said, "It is not the compassion of any of you towards his friend, but it is compassion towards all people and compassion towards the common folk."92
Note: 92. Reported by al-Tabarani; the men of its isnad are rijal al-sahih. See Majma' al-Zawa'id, 8/186, Bab rahmat al-nas.
This is comprehensive, all-embracing compassion which Islam has awoken in the hearts of Muslim men and women, and made one of their distinguishing characteristics, so that the Muslim community - men and women, rich and poor, all of its members - may become an integrated, caring community filled with compassion, brotherly love and true affection.
The Prophet (PBUH) was a brilliant example of sincere compassion. If he heard a child crying when he was leading the people in prayer, he would shorten the prayer, out of consideration for the mother's feelings and concern for her child.
Bukhari and Muslim report from Anas (RAA) that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"I commenced the prayer, and I intended to make it long, but I heard a child crying, so I cut my prayer short because of the distress I knew his mother would be feeling."93
Note: 93. Bukhari and Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 3/410, Kitab al-salat, bab al-takhfif li amr yahduth.
A Bedouin came to the Prophet (PBUH) and asked, "Do you kiss your sons? For we do not kiss them." He said, "What can I do for you when Allah (SWT) has removed compassion from your heart?"94
Note: 94. Bukhari and Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/34, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah, bab rahmat al-walad wa taqbilihi.
Prophet (PBUH) kissed al-Hasan ibn `Ali when al-Aqra` ibn Habis al-Tamimi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra` said: "I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them." The Prophet (PBUH) looked at him and said, "The one who does not show compassion will not be shown mercy."95
Note: 95. Bukhari and Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/34, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah, bab rahmat al-walad wa taqbilihi.
`Umar (RAA) wanted to appoint a man to some position of authority over the Muslims, then he heard him say something like al-Aqra` ibn Habis had said, i.e., that he did not kiss his children. So `Umar changed his mind about appointing him and said, "If your heart does not beat with compassion towards your own children, how will you be merciful towards thepeople? By Allah (SWT), I will never appoint you." Then he tore up the document he had prepared concerning the man's appointment.
The Prophet (PBUH) extended the feeling of mercy in the hearts of Muslim men and women to cover animals as well as humans. This is reflected in a number of sahih ahadith, such as that reported by Bukhari and Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, in which the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"A man was walking along the road when he felt very thirsty. He saw a well, so he went down into it, drank his fill, then came out. He saw a dog panting and biting the dust with thirst, and said, `This dog's thirst is as severe as mine was.' So he went back down into the well, filled his shoes with water, held them in his mouth (while he climbed out), and gave the dog water. Allah (SWT) thanked him and forgave him." They asked, "O Messenger of Allah, will we be rewarded for kindness towards animals?" He said, "In every living creature there is reward."96
Note: 96. Bukhari and Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 2/229, Kitab al-salah, bab fadl salah al-'iswa'l-fajr fi'l-jama'ah.
Bukhari and Muslim also narrate from Ibn `Umar that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"A woman was punished because of a cat which she locked up until it died of starvation. She was thrown into Hell. It was said - and Allah (SWT) knows best - `You did not feed her or give her water when you locked her up, neither did you let her roam free so that she could eat of the vermin of the earth.'"97
Note: 97. Bukhari and Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 6/171, Kitab al-zakat, bab fadl saqi al-ma'.
The Prophet (PBUH) reached such heights of mercy that once, when he and his Companions stopped in some place, a bird appeared above his head, as if she were seeking his help and complaining to him of the wrongdoing of a man who had taken her egg. He said, "Which of you has distressed her by taking her egg?" A man said, "O Messenger of Allah, I have taken it." The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Put it back, out of mercy to her."98
Note: 98. Reported by Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/472, Bab akhdh al-bayd min al-hammarah.
The Prophet (PBUH) wanted, in this instance, to instil a sense of all-encompassing mercy in the conscience of the Muslims, men and women alike, so that they would become compassionate by nature, even to animals, because whoever has the heart to be kind to animals will not be harsh towards his human brother.
The Prophet (PBUH) was full of compassion towards humans and animals alike. He never stopped encouraging compassion among people, and sought to instil it deeply in the hearts of Muslim men and women, stating that it was the key to Allah's (SWT) mercy, forgiveness and reward. Allah (SWT) would forgive those who were compassionate, even if they were sinners.
In Sahih Muslim, Abu Hurayrah said:
"The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: `A dog was walking around a well, almost dying of thirst, when a Jewish prostitute saw him. She took off her shoe, brought water to him and gave him to drink. She was forgiven because of this deed."99
Note: 99. Sahih Muslim, 14/242, Kitab qatl al-hayyat wa nahwaha, bab fadl saqi al-baha'im.
How great is the blessing of compassion and mercy for mankind! What beautiful attributes they are! It is sufficient honour and status to know that the Lord of Glory and Majesty derived His own name from rahmah (mercy, compassion), and is called al-Rahim, al-Rahman.
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