The Muslim Woman and Her Community / Society
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She does not cheat, deceive, or stab in the back
The sincere Muslim woman for whom truthfulness has become a deeply-rooted characteristic does not cheat, deceive or stab in the back, because these worthless characteristics are beneath her. They contradict the values of truthfulness, and do not befit the Muslim woman. Truthfulness requires an attitude of sincerity, straightforwardness, loyalty and fairness, which leaves no room for cheating, lying, trickery, deceit or betrayal.
The Muslim woman who is filled with the guidance of Islam is truthful by nature, and has a complete aversion to cheating, deceiving and back-stabbing, which she sees as a sign of a person's being beyond the pale of Islam, as the Prophet (PBUH) stated in the hadith narrated by Muslim:
"Whoever bears arms against us is not one of us, and whoever cheats us is not one of us."20
Note: 20. Sahih Muslim, 2/108, Kitab al-iman, bab qawl al-Nabi (PBUH) man ghashshana fa laysa minna.
According to another report, also narrated by Muslim, the Prophet (PBUH) passed by a pile of food (in the market), put his hand in it and felt dampness (although the surface of the pile was dry). He said, "O owner of the food, what is this?" The man said, "it was damaged by rain, O Messenger of Allah." He said, "And you did not put the rain-damaged food on top so that people could see it! Whoever cheats us is not one of us."21
Note: 21. Sahih Muslim, 2/109, Kitab al-iman, bab man ghashshana fa laysa minna.
Muslim society is based on purity of human feeling, sincerity towards every Muslim, and fulfilment of promises to every member of the society. If any cheats or traitors are found in that society, they are most certainly alien elements whose character is in direct contrast to the noble character of true Muslims.
Islam views cheating, deception and back-stabbing as heinous crimes which will be a source of shame to the guilty party both in this world and the next. The Prophet (PBUH) announced that on the Day of Resurrection, every traitor would be raised carrying the flag of his betrayal and a caller will cry out in the vast arena of judgement, pointing to him and drawing attention to him:
"Every traitor will have a banner on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be said: `This is the betrayer of so-and-so.'"22
Note: 22. Bukhari and Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 10/71-73, Kitab al-imarah wa'l-qada', bab wa'id al-ghadr; Riyad al-Salihin, 705, bab tahrim al-ghadr.
How great will be the shame of those traitors, men and women, who thought that their betrayal was long since forgotten, and now here it is, spread out for all to see and carried aloft on banners held by their own hands.
Their shame on the Day of Judgement will increase when they see the Prophet (PBUH), who is the hope of intercession on that great and terrible Day, standing in opposition to them, because they have committed the heinous crime of betrayal, which is a crime of such enormity that it will deprive them of the mercy of Allah (SWT) and the intercession of the Prophet (PBUH):
"Allah (SWT), may He be exalted, said: `There are three whom I will oppose on the Day of Resurrection: a man who gave his word, and then betrayed; a man who sold a free man into slavery and kept the money; and a man who hired someone, benefitted from his labour, then did not pay his wages."23
Note: 23. Fath al-Bari, 4/417, Kitab al-buyu', bab ithm man ba'a hurran.
The Muslim woman who has been truly guided by Islam steers clear of all forms of deceit and back-stabbing. They exist in many forms in the world of modern women, but the Muslim woman values herself too highly to include herself among those cheating, deceiving women whom the Prophet (PBUH) considered to be hypocrites:
"There are four features, whoever has all of them is a true hypocrite, and whoever has one of them has one of the qualities of a hypocrite until he gives it up: when he is trusted, he is unfaithful; when he speaks, he tells lies; when he make a promise, he proves treacherous; and when he disputes, he resorts to slander."24
Note: 24. Bukhari and Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 1/74, Kitab al-iman, bab 'alamat al-nifaq.
She keeps her promises
One of the noble attitudes of the true Muslim woman is that she keeps her promises. This attitude is the companion of truthfulness and indeed stems naturally from it.
Keeping promises is a praiseworthy attitude, one that indicates the high level of civility attained by the woman who exhibits it. It helps her to succeed in life, and earns her the love, respect and appreciation of others.
The effects of this attitude in instilling moral and psychological virtues in girls and boys are not unknown; if they see their mothers always keeping their promises, this is the best example that they can be given.
For the Muslim woman, keeping promises is not just the matter of social niceties, something to boast about among her friends and peers; it is one of the basic Islamic characteristics and one of the clearest indicators of sound faith and true Islam. Many texts of the Qur'an and Sunnah emphasize the importance of this quality:
( O you who believe! Fulfil all obligations.) (Qur'an 5:1)
( And fulfil every engagement, for [every] engagement will be enquired into [on the Day of Reckoning].) (Qur'an 17:34)
This is a definitive command from Allah (SWT) to His believing servants, men and women alike, to keep their promises and to fulfil whatever obligations those promises entail. There is no room for escaping or dodging this responsibility. It does not befit the Muslim who has committed himself or herself to then try to get out of keeping the promise. It is his duty to keep his word. In some ayat, the word for "promise" is connected by the grammatical structure of idafah (genitive) to Allah (SWT) Himself, as an indication of its dignity and sanctity, and of the obligation to keep promises:
( Fulfil the Covenant of Allah, when you have entered into it . . .) (Qur'an 16:91)
Islam dislikes those prattlers who carelessly make promises without following through and keeping their word:
( O you who believe! Why say you that which you do not? Grievously odious is it in the sight of Allah that you say that which you do not.) (Qur'an 61:2-3)
Allah (SWT) does not like His believing servants, male or female, to sink to the level of empty words, promises given with no intention of fulfilment, and all manner of excuses to avoid upholding the commitments made. Such conduct does not befit believing men and women. The tone of the question asked in this ayah is an expression of the extreme disapproval incurred by those believers who commit the sin of saying that which they do not do.
The Prophet (PBUH) said:
"The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he is entrusted with something, he betrays that trust."25
Note: 25. Bukhari and Muslim. See Sharh al-Sunnah, 1/72, Kitab al-iman, bab 'alamat al-nifaq.
According to a report given by Muslim, he (PBUH) added:
"Even if he fasts, prays and thinks that he is a Muslim."26
Note: 26. Sahih Muslim, 2/48, Kitab al-iman, bab bayan khisal al-munafiq.
The level of a woman's Islam is not determined only by acts of worship and rituals, but also the extent to which her character is influenced by the teachings and high values of Islam. She does only that which will please Allah (SWT). The Muslim woman who understands and adheres to the teachings of Islam does not break her promises, or cheat others, or betray them, because such acts contradict the morals and values of true Isla, and such attitudes are only found among men and women who are hypocrites.
Let them know this, those women who tell lies to their own children, who make promises then go back on thword, thus planting the seeds of dishonesty and promise-breaking in their children's hearts. Let them know this, those women who make empty, meaningless promises and attach no importance to the word of honour to which they have committed themselves, lest by such carelessness they become hypocrites themselves and earn the punishment of the hypocrites which, as is well known, is a place in the lowest level of Hell.
She is not a hypocrite
The true Muslim woman is frank and open in her words and opinions, and is the furthest removed from hypocrisy, flattery and false praise, because she knows from the teachings of Islam that hypocrisy is haram, and does not befit the true Muslim.
The Prophet (PBUH) has protected us from falling into the mire of hypocrisy and flattery. When Banu `Amir came to him and praised him, saying, "You are our master," he said, "The only Master is Allah (SWT)." When they said, "You are the most excellent and greatest of us," he said, "Say what you want, or a part of it, but do not speak like agents of Shaytan. I do not want you to raise me above the status to which Allah (SWT) has appointed me. I am Muhammad ibn `Abdullah, His Servant and Messenger."27
Note: 27. Hayat al-Sahabah 3/99.
The Prophet (PBUH) prevented people from exaggerating in their praise of others, some of whom may not even be deserving of praise, when he forbade them to describe him as "master," "excellent" and "great," at the time when he was without doubt the greatest of the Messengers, the master of the Muslims and the greatest and most excellent of them. He did this because he understood that if the door of praise was opened to its fullest extent, it might lead to dangerous types of hypocrisy which are unacceptable to a pure Islamic spirit and the truth on which this religion is based. He forbade the Sahabah to praise a man to his face, lest the one who spoke the words crossed the boundary of hypocrisy, or the object of his admiration be filled with feelings of pride, arrogance, superiority and self-admiration.
Bukhari and Muslim narrate that Abu Bakrah (RAA) said:
"A man praised another man in the presence of the Prophet (PBUH), who said: `Woe to you! You have cut your companion's throat!' several times. Then he said: `Whoever of you insists on praising his brother, let him say: "I think So-and-so is such-and-such, and Allah (SWT) knows the exact truth, and I do not confirm anyone's good conduct before Allah (SWT), but I think him to be such-and-such," if he knows that this is the case.'"28
Note: 28. Fath al-Bari, 10/476, Kitab al-adab, bab ma yukrah min al-tamaduh; Sahih Muslim, 18/126, Kitab al-zuhd, bab al-nahi 'an ifrat fi'l-madh.
If praising a person cannot be avoided, then it must be sincere and based on truth. The praise should be moderate, reserved and without any exaggeration. This is the only way in which a society can rid itself of the diseases of hypocrisy, lies, deceit and sycophancy.
In al-Adab al-Mufrad, Bukhari reports from Raja' from Mihjan al-Aslami that the Prophet (PBUH) and Mihjan were in the mosque when the Prophet (PBUH) saw a man praying, bowing and prostrating, and asked, "Who is that?" Mihjan began to praise the man, saying, "O Messenger of Allah, he is So-and-so, and is such-and-such." The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Stop. Do not let him hear you, or it will be his downfall!"29
Note: 29. See al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/433, Bab yuhtha fi wujuh al-maddahin.
According to a report given by Ahmad, Mihjan said: "O Messenger of Allah, this is so-and-so, one of the best people of Madinah," or "one of the people who prays the most in Madinah." The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Do not let him hear you, or it will be his downfall!" - two or three times - "You are an ummah for whom I wish ease."30
Note: 30. Reported by Ahmad, 5/32; its isnad is sahih.
The Prophet (PBUH) described hearing praise as being a person's downfall, because of its profound psychological impact on the human mind which by nature loves to hear such words. So the one who is praised begins to feel superior to and to look down on other people. If such praise is repeated by the hypocrites and flatterers - and how many of them there are surrounding those in positions of power and authority! - this will satisfy a strong desire in his heart and will become something he wants to hear regularly. Then he will hate to hear criticism and advice, and will only accept praise, thanks and adulation. No wonder, then, that truth will be lost, justice will be eliminated, morality will be destroyed and society will be corrupted.
For this reason the Prophet (PBUH) ordered his Companions to throw dust in the faces of those who praise others, lest their number, and hence flattery and hypocrisy, increase, which would have had disastrous consequences for the whole Muslim society.
The Sahabah, may Allah (SWT) be pleased with them, used to feel upset when they heard others praising them, although they were the most deserving of such praise, because they feared its disastrous consequences and adhered to the basic principles of Islam that abhor such cheap, empty expressions. Nafi`(RAA) and others said: "A man said to Ibn `Umar (RAA): `O you who are the best of people!' or `O son of the best of people!' Ibn `Umar said: `I am not the best of people, neither am I the son of the best of people. I am just one of the servants of Allah (SWT): I hope for His (mercy) and I fear His (wrath). By Allah (SWT), you will continue to pursue a man (with your praise) until you bring about his downfall.'"31
Note: 31. Hayat al-Sahabah, 3/103.
This is a wise statement from a great Sahabi of the utmost Islamic sensibilities, who adhered to Islamic teachings both in secret and openly.
The Sahabah understood precisely the Prophet's guidance telling them that their words and deeds should be free from hypocrisy. The great difference between that which is done sincerely for the sake of Allah (SWT) and that which is merely hypocrisy and flattery was abundantly clear to them.
Ibn `Umar (RAA) said that some people said to him: "When we enter upon our rulers we tell them something different from what we say when we have left them." Ibn `Umar said: "At the time of the Prophet (PBUH), we used to consider this to be hypocrisy."32
Note: 32. Fath al-bari, 13/170, Kitab al-ahkam, bab ma yukrah min thana' al-sultan.
The true Muslim woman is protected by her religion from sinking to the dangerous level of hypocrisy to which many women today have sunk who think that they have not overstepped the bounds of polite flattery. They do not realize that there is a type of flattery that is haram and that they could sink so low without realizing it and fall into the sin of that despised hypocrisy which may lead to their ultimate doom. This happens when they keep quiet and refrain from telling the truth, or when they praise those who do not deserve it.
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