Rights of disbelieving parents.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother,

Thanks so much for always copping me the Knowledge of islam i realy enjoy reading it.

 Firstly, am a Convertie to islam from christianity, my parents trubled me untile the time i got some one to marry they refused to surpport my marriage but out chife kathi surpoted me as brother, in which i succeded since then we are not in good turms with my parents in that up to now they do accept my husband now its 8 year. last year in may i was blessed by Allah with a baby girl my mother did not come to see her. Now is need to go and visit home since am staying in the UAE. My husband for bide me from taking my baby to my parent since he is not accepted. what can i do i am confuse kindly advice with hadith or Quran.

 

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Answer:

 

Rights of disbelieving parents

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Respected sister in Islam, one cannot over-emphasize the importance and significance of serving and being dutiful unto one’s parents in Islam, absolutely regardless of whether one’s parents are believers or disbelievers!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone!  Treat your parents with great kindness;  if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them;  nor rebuke them;  but speak to them kind words.  Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord,  be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:

14      And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 46 Surah Ahqaaf verses 15-16:

15      We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: in pain did his mother bear him and in pain did she give him birth.  The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months.  At length when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years he says "O my Lord! grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favor which Thou hast bestowed upon me and upon both my parents and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue.  Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam."

16      Such are they from whom We shall accept the best of their deeds and pass by their ill deeds: (they shall be) among the Companions of the Garden: a promise of truth which was made to them (in this life).

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 215:

215    They ask thee what they should spend (in charity).  Say: ‘Whatever ye spend that is good is for parents and kindred and orphans and those in want and for wayfarers.  And whatever ye do that is good Allah knoweth it well.’

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941        Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?"  He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

 

Sahih Muslim Hadith  6189    Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Let him be humbled into dust!  Let him be humbled into dust!’ It was said: ‘O Allah's Messenger (saws), who is he?’  He (saws) said: ‘He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (through his deeds of service towards them)!’

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5120  Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah

I asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah(saws)! To whom should I show kindness most?’  He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother.’  I asked (again): ‘Who next?’. He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’.  I asked: ‘Who next?’  He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’  I asked again: ‘Who next?’ and he (saws) replied: ‘Your father, and then your relatives in order of relationship.’

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.290         Narrated by Abu Bakra

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the Great Sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (saws)!" He (saws) said, "To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.505         Narrated by Abdullah

I asked the Prophet (saws): "Which deed is the dearest to Allah?" He (saws) replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He (saws) replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents." I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He (saws) replied, "To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause."  'Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet (saws) would have told me more."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.248         Narrated byAbdullah bin Amr

A man came to the Prophet  asking his permission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet asked him, "Are your parents alive?" He replied in the affirmative. The Prophet said to him, "Then exert yourself in their service."

 

It is absolutely impermissible, forbidden, and an abomination of a sin in the Sight of Allah for one to break or sever ties or relationships of blood which the Lord Himself has created for them; absolutely regardless of whether their relatives are believers or disbelievers! 

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 13 Surah Ar-Raad  verse 25:

As for those who break their covenant with Allah after confirming it, who cut asunder relationships which Allah has bidden to be joined, and spread chaos on the earth,  their’s shall be the curse, and they shall have a wretched abode in the Hereafter.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Bakarah verse 27:

And He leads astray only those who disobey Allah,  who break Allah’s covenant after ratifying it, who cut asunder relationships what Allah has ordered to be joined, and who produce chaos on the Earth.   These are indeed the people who are the losers.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.17 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "The word 'Ar-Rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one of the names of Allah) and Allah said: 'I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin), and sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin).

 

Your Question: ….My husband for bide me from taking my baby to my parent since he is not accepted. what can i do

The husband, or anyone else in creation for that matter, has absolutely no right to command another to break relations with their kith and kin, regardless of whether their kin happen to be believers or disbelievers.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3696        Narrated by An-Nawwas ibn Sam'an

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator."

 

Even if one’s husband were to command his wife to break relations wth or disown her parents or relatives, or forbid the wife from taking their baby to its maternal grand-parents, absolutely regardless of whether the relatives are believers or disbelievers……such unlawful commands of the husband would not be obeyed, for it involves disobedience to the Guidance and Commands of the Lord All-Mighty and His Messenger (saws)!

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 

 

 
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