If a man continuously refuses to have a sex with his wife and he seeks ways to run off from her.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

When a wife does not responds to a sexual call of a husband repeatedly and continously he is advised to marry another woman for his pleasure but if a man continuously refuses to have a sex with his wife and he seeks ways to run off from her but he maintains her very nicely with his income then what is she suppose to do to release her desires? please comment 


(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)




Husband disinterested in Sex

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Respected Sister in Islam, not every individual (man or woman) has been bestowed with the same level of sexual desire; thus it is very possible that one amongst the partners in marriage has more appetite for sex than the other, and that would be absolutely normal and natural.  But if one has an unusually low level of sexual appetite for their age, it would be prudent to consult an expert in the field of medicine who would be obviously better qualified to determine its reason and/or recommend a remedy.


The only route Islam has made lawful for one to fulfill their natural physical desire is through the sacred institution of marriage.


Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: ‘The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife."’ The companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself?  Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."

Related by Ahmad and Muslim.


If one has committed themselves to the sacred institution of marriage, then indeed it would be their duty to fully cooperate and satisfy this natural and physical demand and appetite of their spouse.  If one, without an absolutely genuine reason, chooses not to fulfill this their duty in marriage, it would indeed be regarded and considered a sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3257        Narrated by Talq ibn Ali

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When a man calls his wife to satisfy his desire (ie. sexual intercourse) she must go to him even if she is occupied at the oven!"


Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.460         Narrated by Abu Huraira

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the Angels will curse her till morning."


Although the above guidance is addressed specifically to the womenfolk, the absolute majority of the scholars and jurists in Islam are of the opinion that the same guidance would also apply to the husbands as it does to the wife.


Beloved Sister, if after your very best efforts your husband is still not able to satisfy your natural physical desires, you have two lawful options in Shariah:

  1. Either bear your situation and condition with patience, and save your marriage; or….
  2. You would be very within your rights if you wish to initiate a divorce proceedings and seek to marry someone else.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,






Copyright © 2023 Wister All rights reserved

Privacy  |  Feedback  |  About Wister  |  Volunteer Wister  |  Ask a Question  |  Widget