Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

At first take my Salam. I live in Toronto Canada. I have a qustion which is disturbing me from last few months. I married to my brother-in-laws niec. And it was a arrenge marrige from both of our parents. We all are happy on this relationship.. Mostly by the blessing of Allah me and my wife are very very happy in our life. At 2005 I got sick and lost my both kidnney, and now I am on Dialysis since then. And the time I got sick my wife was pregnet with my child. That time my Mom and My older sister(who sponscered us in Canada) they both told me to divorce my wife. I ignor them that time. But now they are telling me that they fixed this marriege to take revange from my In-laws(which they are in-laws of my sister too). And reason of that they gave her some hard time in past. And my wife is only girl in that family, and she is very loveble one. Now they trying there best to distroy my happyness. And I desided to break all kind of relationship with my Mother and sister.. I just want to know in the Islami way am I doing it rite or wrong?? 

 

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Answer:

 

Divorce revenge break relation

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.628         Narrated by Ibn Abbas

The Prophet (saws) sent Mu'adh to Yemen and said, "Be afraid, from the curse of the oppressed as there is no screen between their invocation and Allah!"

 

It is absolutely unlawful and a grave sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah for one to oppress, punish, or take revenge in any way or form whatsoever from one who is absolutely innocent and has had nothing whatsoever to do with the unfortunate incidents which might have transpired in the past.  If the family of you wife have done any injustice to your mother or sister in the past, neither your mother, nor your sister, nor you yourself have a right to exact retribution from your wife in any way or form whatsoever, for she is absolutely innocent of the crimes (if any) of her household,!

 

Your Statement: …..That time my Mom and My older sister(who sponscered us in Canada) they both told me to divorce my wife.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3696        Narrated by An-Nawwas ibn Sam'an

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator."

 

Under the said circumstances, you are not obliged in Shariah to obey the command of your mother to divorce your innocent wife, only because of the crimes or injustice her family might have done to your sister in the past. 

 

You should humbly, politely, and in with patience and wisdom make it known to your mother and your sister that you will not participate with them in this utter and ultimate form of injustice by divorcing your wife who is absolutely innocent of the crime (if any) committed by her household.

 

Your Question: ……And I desided to break all kind of relationship with my Mother and sister.. I just want to know in the Islami way am I doing it rite or wrong?? 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 13 Surah Ar-Raad  verse 25:

As for those who break their covenant with Allah after confirming it, who cut asunder relationships which Allah has bidden to be joined, and spread chaos on the earth,  their’s shall be the curse, and they shall have a wretched abode in the Hereafter.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Bakarah verse 27:

And He leads astray only those who disobey Allah,  who break Allah’s covenant after ratifying it, who cut asunder relationships what Allah has ordered to be joined, and who produce chaos on the Earth.   These are indeed the people who are the losers.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.17 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "The word 'Ar-Rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one of the names of Allah) and Allah said: 'I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin), and sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you (the womb, i.e. kith and kin).

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.15 Narrated by Anas bin Malik

Allah 's Messenger (saws) said, "Whoever loves that he be granted more wealth and that his lease of life be prolonged, then he should keep good relations with his kith and kin."

 

It is absolutely impermissible, forbidden, and an abomination of a sin in the Sight of Allah for one to break or sever ties or relationships of blood which the Lord Himself has created for them! 

 

Dear and beloved brother in Islam, as much as you may not agree with the decision of your mother or sister, or with their behavior or attitude with you or your wife, etc…..you are Commanded and Bound by your Lord in Islam that under absolutely no circumstances should you ever sever or break ties or relationships of blood which the Lord Himself has created for you!

 

Regardless of their unjust attitude or behavior towards you or your wife, absolutely regardless of whatever they might choose to say or do….you as a believer must fear Allah and never ever transgress His Prescribed Boundaries.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone!  Treat your parents with great kindness;  if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them;  nor rebuke them;  but speak to them kind words.  Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord,  be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:

14      And We have enjoined on mankind (to be good) to their parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821         Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the ‘Kabair’ (the absolute gravest sins in the Sight of Allah). He (saws) replied: "They are:--

1. To join others in worship with Allah,
2. To be undutiful to one's parents,
3. To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murder),
4. And to give a false witness."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.290         Narrated by Abu Bakra

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the Greatest sins?"  They said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (saws)!"  He (saws) said, "To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents."

 

After the rights due to Allah and His Messenger (saws), in Islam the biggest rights in all mankind are due to one’s parents.  The enormity of being undutiful to one’s parents can be imagined by the fact that The Messenger of Allah (saws) listed being undutiful to one’s parents as the second gravest of all the gravest sins in Islam! 

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3653        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr

The Prophet (saws) said, "An undutiful son, a gambler, one who casts up what he has given, and one who is addicted to wine will not enter Paradise."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3655        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There are three people to whom Allah has forbidden Paradise: one who is addicted to wine, an undutiful son, and a cuckold who agrees to his womenfolk's adultery."

 

If one (Allah forbid) finds one’s parents enraged upon them for any reason whatsoever, absolutely regardless of who is at fault, or who started the argument or disagreement…….the absolute first thing they should do is in extreme humility and politeness seek their forgiveness, and staying within the boundaries of Allah Subhanah, strive their utmost to appease their rage.  In their anger or rage, even if one’s parents were to say bad or abusive things to their children, it would be the duty of the child to humbly listen and absorb whatever they might choose to say without as much as building a frown upon their forehead!!!!  Such is the level of humility and tenderness and kindness expected from an off-spring in regards to their parents in Islam. That would be akin to piety and righteousness on the part of the child in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone!  Treat your parents with great kindness;  if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them;  nor rebuke them;  but speak to them kind words.  Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord,  be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941        Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?"  He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),   one can be assured of never ever being misled;   but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.  

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

Burhan